"BACONY" - RESEMBLING BACON
(PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY) APOLOGIES TO ALL
+5 FOR KNOWING WHERE VOTER LIVES
-1 FOR THE TAG
-1 FOR UNORIGINAL TAGLINE
...MAKES BABY JESUS CRY
...MAKES MY NIPPLES HARD
.44 caliber bargain hunters MAX
0340 IN THE HOUSE OF SIN
10 MURPHY'S STOUTS IN THE CLIP. FIRE AWAY AT FUNNY
100 MILLION TO MAKE PLUTO NASH. 4.3 MILLION RETURN. THERE GOES MY 401
100 PERCENT OF THE VOTE
100% REAL FRUIT
101 CLAYMATIONS, TAKE 2
2 KIBBLES AND BITS
23 DECEMBER 2020: THE YEAR MEGAHAL BECAME SELF-AWARE
24/7
3600 SECONDS IN AN HOUR (OLD OPEN)
4 OUT OF 5 WONDER WHY I'M CREATING MY OWN VERSION
454 GRAMS OF FLESH
50 CREDIT HOURS IN COLLAGE
60 MILES OF BLUE ASPHALT
64 SLICES OF AMERICAN PIE
9 LIVES
9/10 OF THE LAW OF GOD
A BEAUTIFUL MIND THE GAP (FOR MY BRITISH FANS)
A BIG BUCKETFUL OF WARM MAPLE SYRUP
A BIG HELPING OF SALVATION IN EVERY BITE
A BODY HITS A BODY AFTTER FINISHING THE RYE
A CAPER ON PAPER
A CHRISTMAS MEATROLL
A CLOCKWORK ORANGUTAN
A CLONE AGAIN, NATURALLY
A COFFEE BREAK FOR SISYPHUS
A COKE OF ELVENKIND
A CRY FOR ATTENTION
A DRYBED OF TIE-DYED SALMON DEADHEADS
A DUTIFUL GRIND
A FINE LINE BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG
A FIRST COMIC FOR THE SECOND TIME
A FRIEND IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE
A GOOSE WALKING ACROSS YOUR GRAVY
a hearty slap on your mud-flap MAX
a hearty tug on reality's milk-teat MAX
A HOME-GROWN TASOCHISM MANGO
A LETHAL DOSE OF MIND-MACARENA
A LITTLE BIT O' JERICHO BY MY SIDE
A LITTLE DITTY 'BOUT JACKIN' DIANE
A LITTLE SUMPIN' SUMP PUMP
A MAN, A PLAN, AN ANAL PANAMA
A MEDICAL SWAB OF CORN ON THE COB
A MILD GROAN, REVISITED
A MILLION TINY VOICES DEMANDING TO BE HEARD
A MINK STOLE AND WAS COLLARED
A MOMENTARY LACK OF RIESLING
A MONGOOSE ON THE BACKSIDE
A MOOTIFUL BIND
A NICE PEAR
A NICE PYROMANTIC CANDLELIGHT DINNER
A PENNY FOR KEEPING YOUR THOUGHTS TO YOURSELF
A PISS AND A PROMISE
A POT OF LIPS NOW
A POUND OF FLESH
A POX ON YOUR PLAGUES
A REMEMBRANCE OF GAS PAST (I SWEAR, I'VE LEARNED TO SPELL BY NOW)
A RUN IN YOUR STALKING
A SNITCH IN TIME
A SPIRTUAL SALVE FOR A MENTAL ABRASION
A SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE
A TAGLINE MUST HAVE A COMIC
A TRUCKFUL OF PUCKISH TRINITARIANS
A WHALE IS NOT A FISH - IT'S AN INSECT
A WINTER HAIKU
A WORLD OF PURE DIMASCULATION
AAAAH, WHAT A RUSH!
ABBATOIR-A-GO-GO
ABLE WAS I ERE I SAW ELBA
acrid alimentary astringent MAX
ACT-FANCER CYBERNETIC HYPER WEAPON
ADAM'S RIBBED FOR HER PLEASURE
ADDITIVES FOR YOUR PRESERVATIVES (REDUX)
ADJACENT TO YOUR COMPLETE BREAKFAST
adorned with airborne corn MAX
ADVENTURES ON THE SHORT BUS: A NEW HOPE
AL QUEIDA SELTZER
ALAS, BABBLE
ALICE IN WONDERBRA
ALICE'S RESTAURANT MASSACRE
ALICE'S RESTAURANT MASSACRE (WITH FEELING)
ALL AGOG OVER LEAPFROG AGAIN
ALL DOGS GO TO OVEN
ALL HIGH ON THE WESTERN BLUNT
ALL THAT IN NOTHING FLAT (OPENRMCS 16399)
ALL YOU CAN EAT SOY EXTENDER
ALL YOUR FREEBASE BELONG TO GUS
ALVIN AND THE HIP MONKS
AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICES DAN'S NAMETAG IS BACKWARDS?
AMBER WAVES OF PAIN
AMERICA CONLINE
AMERICAN I DULL
AMMONIA AROMATHERAPY FOR THE UNCONSCIOUS
AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER FOR THE SYPHILLIS
AN OLD CONTEST, A NEW BEGINNING
AND NOW... NUMBER THREE... THE LARCH
AND THE CROWD GROWS WEED (OPEN 23046)
AND THE DREIDEL WILL ROCK
AND THE REST
AND YOU'RE GONNA FLOAT THERE AND LIKE IT
AND YOUR LITTLE DOG, TOO
ANGST IN YOUR PANGST
ANNOYING ANOINTMENT (GTD STYLEE)
ANORAKNOPHOBIA DIAGNOSIS
ANOTHER PAGE THAT LINES THE APE CAGE
ANOTHER STEAMING MESS: MY VOODOO CHILI
ANTHRAX SPORTS PAGE
ANTI-GAY BATHROOMS - A STRAIGHT FLUSH
ANTLERS IN THE TREETOP, BY HUGOO STAMOOSE.
ANY RESEMBLANCE BETWEEN THESE EVENTS AND ACTUAL HUMOR IS COINCIDENTAL
ANYBODY ELSE WANT TO SEE BILLY, JEFFY, AND CO. AS CHARACTER OPTIONS?
apocalypso facto MAX
APPLE TURNOVER IN HIS GRAVE
AQUEOUS HUMOURS FROM NACREOUS TUMORS
ARCH-POETICA
ARCTIC CIRCLE JERK
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOSBALL
ARMPIT GRAVY
ARMPIT MASTICATOR
army man and your navy beans MAX
ARTERY PARTY
AS FRESH AS THE DAY IT WAS ABORTED
AS TOPICAL AS TODAY'S OINTMENT
ASPARTAME IS A PART OF ME. (SLIGHTLY REVISED)
ASS TRICKS AND OBOE LICKS (TKS, DG)
AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HUMOR CHAIN
ATLAS FARTED
ATOMICALLY CORRECT
ATROPHY CABINET
ATTR: E-MAIL DOING THE ROUNDS
ATTRIB: "GO DIE" BY MARK PEASLEE
ATTRIBUTION, DAMMIT: "GO DIE" BY MARK PEASLEE
ATTRIBUTION: OPEN 20283
AURORA BOREALIS? YOU BARELY KNOW US
autopsy-turvy MAX
awakened by the smell of casserole MAX
AXIS SALLY STRUTHERS
B IS FOR BOOKIE, THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME
BABY BABOON MEETS HIS DREAM GIRL (REVISED)
BACKBEATS FOR YOUR SWEETMEATS
backflip from the balcony MAX
BAD HABIT FOR HUMANITY
BAD PLASTIC SURGEON? MEET THE BOTOXIC AVENGER
BAD STRIP CONTINUED
bad vibes from misery's marimba MAX
BAG LADY ON YOUR MANICURED LAWN
baked bean bubble bath MAX
BALANCE OF POWER SHOWER
BALDERDASH AND COOKIE DOUGH
BALI JAI ALAI
BALL AND PAIN
ball bearings in the butter tub MAX
banana seats for grease monkeys MAX
BANANA SLUG FRAPPé
BANG A GONG
BANG THE DRUM MAJORETTE SLOWLY
baptism of fiber MAX
BAR STOOL SAMPLE
BARBARA MANDRILL
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
BEAT YOUR OWN MEAT
BEATING UP IRRITATING MEMES
BEEF FOR KEEF
BEER-SOAKED CLOTHING IN LAS VEGAS (NM)
beetle bits in your bran flakes MAX
BEFRIEND A BOOK
BELLE AND SEBASTIAN BACH
BEN HOGAN'S HEROES
BEN-GAY IN YOUR BACK WAY
bench-tooled laugh leather MAX
bendy-straw for spitoon guzzlers MAX
BEST DAY FOR A PARADE - MARCH 4TH
BEST WEED IN THE SHIRE
BETTER OFF NOT READ
BETWEEN A ROC AND A HARD PLAICE
BETWEEN IRAQ AND A HARD PLACE (MY TAKE)
BEWARE FREAKS BEARING GIFTS...
BIG MAN ON COMPASS
BILLY BASS BOAT
bio-booster battle booties MAX
BIRDIE IN THE BLENDER
birds picking while you're still kicking MAX
BIRDS TURN BROWN AND FALL FROM TREES.
BIRTHDAY CAKED UNDERWEAR
BISQUICK IN MY BIOS
bite marks on the naugahide MAX
bite-mark festoonery MAX
BITING THE HAND THAT FEELS YOU
bitter mug of nether nog MAX
BLACKJACK NIGHT AT THE S & M PARLOR
blackwatch plaid stump cover MAX
BLADDER CONTROL FREAKS
BLAME IT ON THE BOOGEYMAN
BLASTING CAP ON THE UN-FUNNY BOMB
BLATENT, LATENT AND IMPOTENT
BLENDER BENDER RERENDER
BLIND MAN'S BUFFY
blister balm for bottle blowers MAX
blister juice spritzer MAX
BLOATED GOATS DON'T FLOAT IN MY MOAT
bloated groats in the oat-soaking bowl MAX
BLOCKING INSANITY AS YOUR MIND LOOKS FOR AN OPEN RECEIVER
blood clot in your garden hose MAX
BLOOD, SWEAT, AND RIBOFLAVIN
BLOWING ONE NOTE ON YOUR OWN HORN
BLUE MOON CHEESE
BOB BARKER'S MAGIC MARKERS
BOGUS BOVINES BEWARE BALLOONS
boiled alive in your own butterscotch MAX
BONES IN THE ZONES
BOO SAYS...WHAT???
BOOT TO THE HEAD OF THE CLASS
BORN TO RUN IN TERROR
BORQ! BORQ! BORQ! (COMPLETE VERSION)
BOTTLE WARMER FOR COLD DRUNKS
BREAKING THE LAW.
BRING ME MY CIRCUMSICSION SAW PT 1
BRING ME MY CIRCUMSICSION SAW PT 2
BRINGING A PART TO A HARPY
BRINGING PUFFERFISH TO THE POTLUCK
BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTERS F & U
bubbling bilge pump bisque MAX
BUILD YOUR OWN DAMN MEAT
BUILDING A NUDE WORLD ORDER
bulbous benzine bubblegum blisters MAX
bunched-up under-cluster MAX
BUNT WITH YOUR C*NT
buoyant flotsam in an ocean of hurt MAX
BUREAUCRATIC GADGET GRIP, AND OTHER BLACK LUNG REFERENCES
BURLAP DANCE 3: RISE OF THE BURLAP MACHINES (ORIG: 5653)
BURN BABY BURN (IN MY DISCO INFERNO)
BURNED AGAIN
burnin' ring of fiber MAX
BURNING DOWN THE DOG ... AND IT'S STILL BURNING
BURNING THE NIGHT AWAY
BURT REYNOLDS WRAP
BUSINESS AS USUAL SUSPECTS
butter-side-down in the diaper bucket MAX
butterfly appliqués on the sliding glass door of doom MAX
butterstick barricade MAX
BUZZ AND BEAK
C-7... ROOK TO HAIRY BISHOP...
C. EVERETT KOOP DOGGY DOGG
CABBAGES AND KINGS
CALIFORNIA BROWN-OUT ROLLS
CALL ME ARCHEOLOGIST - MY CAREER LIES IN RUINS
CALLING AAA COLLECT.
CAMELS THAT LOVE TO HUMP
CAPYBARA CHIMICHANGA
CAPYBARAS MAKE EXCELLENT PUDDING.
CARCINOGENIC JOKE SUBSTITUTE
carelessly flung mud puppy chum MAX
CARP SHOOT
carpet knife nerve glissando MAX
CASH COWS FOR JESUS
CASTOR OIL IN YOUR MASTER COIL (REWRITE)
CATEGORICAL IMPERIALISM
CATWOMAN A LA MODE
CECIL'S FISSILE GRISTLE MISSILE
CENTAVO WOMAN (SALVAGED, OLD TAG FORGOTTEN)
CF. SEC. 4(A)(III) PARA. 2
CHAFIN' LIKE A BEAR
CHAMBERPOT MUSIC
CHANG & ENG & EDITH & ARCHIE
CHARLES MONROE
CHATTANOOGA CHESHIRE CHIMICHANGA
CHEERS TO SPEARS
CHEESE WITH YOUR INDUSTRIAL DISESE
CHEMO SABE
CHERRY FLAVORED ARSENIC
cherubs with chest hair MAX
CHEVY VAGUE
CHICKEN POX FOR THE SOUL
CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOULLESS
CHICKS DIG RELIGIOUS ZEALOTS
CHIPMUNKS ROASTING ON AN OPEN PYRE
CHOCOLATE COVERED ANT HILL
CHOOSE YOUR OWN EARL-VENTURE!
CHOPPING BLOCK PARTY
CHOWDER'S LOUDER CROWDS
CHRISTMAS BEER
CHRISTMAS EVIL
CHRISTMAS IN IRAQ - SCUD MISSLE TOE
CHRISTMAS SITCOM - MAD ABOUT JEW
CHUNKS OF BEEF IN THE CORAL REEF (EXTENSIVELY REVISED)
CIEN ANOS DE SOLEDAD
CIVILIZATION AND ITS MALCONTENTS
clenched to the bursting point MAX
CLIMBING THE HERIKOSTAIDERNOMATONN
COAT-HANGER BABY-SHOWER GIFT.
COGNITIVE DISSONANCE
COLON CANCER: DYING FROM THE BUM UPWARDS
COLORLESS GREEN IDEAS BAT CLEANUP
comedy as old and flaccid, yet still as funny as grandma's arm flaps MAX
comedy carrion for laugh scavengers MAX
COMEDY FROM BEYOND
COMEDY SET TO WARPED FACTOR 10
COMEDY'S BLACK MARKET CHOP SHOP
comedy's cauterized stump MAX
COMEDY'S LUMP OF COAL IN YOUR STOCKING
comedy's malformed twin MAX
COMES IN YOUR MOUTH, NOT IN YOUR HANDS
COMIC SOUP-POOP SIDE DISH
COMIC STRIP TEASE
COMMUNITY WATCH
CONNOR, DUNCAN, AND GAVIN
CONSTIPATED STOOL PIGEON
CONTAINS NUTS
CONVERTING TO THE PREACHED
corncob harmonica serenade MAX
CORPULENT CRAPULENT CORPORATE CORMORANTS
COTTAGE CHEESE MOLD ANTIVENOM
countertop tapeworm dispenser MAX
COWPOX FOR YOUR SALTED LOX
CRACKUCCINO OFFERS LIFELINE FOR CAFFEINE INTOLERANT
CRANKASE FULL OF SHEEP DIP
crawdads in your crab grass MAX
CRAZED AND DEFUSED (REWRITE)
CRAZY HORSE WANTS TO SIOUX
creme filling for hollow victories MAX
crippling funnybone arthritis MAX
CROUCHING KITTEN, HIDDEN MEANING
CROUCHING TIGGER, HIDDEN KANGA
CRUISING FOR A BRUISING ON THE AUTOBAHNANNA
CRUMPLED CAN IN THE RECYCLE BIN OF COMEDY
CRUNCHY ON THE INSIDE
CUDDLING WITH A CARCASS
CURIOUS CURIO OF CARNAGE
CUSTARD FILLED PINATA
CUTE AS A PANIC BUTTON
CUTTY SARK FIST OF REMOVAL
CYANOACRYLATE NEONATE
D'ANGELO HILLBILLIES (TAKE 2)
dainty doo-dads for the despondent MAX
DAIRY AIR FROM YOUR DERRIERE
DAIRY DRAG QUEEN
DAIRY FULL OF REWRITES
DAMAGED GODS
DAMN HER LEWD MINKS (OPEN 15085)
DAMNED IF YOU DOO-BE-DOO (DO-OVER)
damp dirt for the dearly departed MAX
dancing spit on the griddle MAX
DANCING TO THAT APOCALYPSO BEAT
DANGEROUS LESIONS
DARE TO BE DIFFIDENT
DARE YOU TO DRINK THE WATER
DARING COMPUTER GUY - WORKS WITHOUT AN INTERNET
DARRYL LICKED THE DERELICTS
DAVID BOWIE KNIFE
DAVID LETTERMAN JACKET
DAYS OF FUTURE GAS PASSED
DEADLY GAME OF CAT AND BLENDER
DEADMAN DON'T WEAR KHAKI
DEAR AMBIEN
DEAR MISTER DANIELS, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY LIVER.
DEAR RMCSERS: I AM GOD (RELOAD)
DEATH TO FIRE ANTS
DEBITS AND CREDITS IN THE LEDGER OF LOVE
decay sera sera MAX
DECK THE HALLS WITH SANTA'S BALLS
DECK THE HALLS WITH UNCLE CHARLIE
DEEP THOUGHTS
DEFUNCT DEBAUCHERY
DEFUNCT DEBAUCHERY (PANCREATIC BUILD)
DEFUNCT DEBAUCHERY (PRELOGGY EDIT)
DEGRASSI JUNIOR HIGH COLONIC
DELUSIONS OF ADEQUACY
DEMOLITION FEDORA
DEMON SEED FOR HEALTHY BREEDS
DERAILED GRAVY TRAIN
DESIGNATED MINNIE DRIVER
DESULTORY DEFECATIONS
DIGESTS READER
dirt carrots for dust bunnies MAX
dirt clods in your fuel rods MAX
dirt-flavored mouthwash MAX
DIRTY LAUNDRY FOR YOUR MORAL QUANDRY
discontentment's seed pod MAX
DISCRETE DISCREET
DISCRETION IS THE BETTER PART OF HUMOR
distended humor extruder MAX
DIVINE SPINES SUPPORTING DIVAS
DNA SAMPLE
DO ANDROIDS DREAM OF ELECTRIC BOOGALOO?
DO FIREFLIES PAY LIGHTBILLS?
DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT THE FUNNY.
DO THE VROOM-VROOM
do-it-yourself lunchmeat slinky MAX
DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE OF PANCAKES
doddering docent to the museum of misanthropy MAX
DOES THIS SMELL BAD?
DOES THIS TASTE LIKE MAYONNAISE TO YOU?
DOG DAY AFTER DINNER MINTS
DOLEFUL DOLEDRUMS DASTERDLY DEEDS
DOLLARS TO DONUT PILLOWS
DON VAN FILLET
DON'T BE A SOREN LOSER
DON'T BE SO FORMAL - CALL ME LARRY OF ARABIA
DON'T BURY ME, I'M NOT DEAD
DON'T FEAR THE REEPERBAHN
DON'T GO BREAKING MY HEARTBURN
DON'T LICK BJORK IN ANGER
DOT COMPOST
DOWN-LINED FLAK JACKETS
DOWNGRADED TO "AXIS OF COMPLETE JERKS"
DR WHO'S YOUR DADDY
DR. BLOODY DISCHARGE
DRINKING CIDER, HIDDEN FLAGON
drool string ukelele MAX
DROP YOUR GOO ON THE LOO
dropping like bug-sprayed tree sloths MAX
droppings on your outcroppings MAX
DRUMSTICK PUPPET THEATRE
DUCT TAPE AND TINTED WINDOW SPECIAL
DUCT TAPE FOR YOUR DATE RAPE
DUDE, LET'S GET A BAND TOGETHER (REWRITE)
DULCE ET DECORUM BREASTS, PRO MAMMARIES MORI
dump truck motorcade MAX
DUTCH ELM DISEASE FOR THE TREE OF LIFE
dutch rub on your nether lands MAX
DWARF TOSSING FOR FUN AND PROFIT (REVISED)
E PLURIBUS EUNICH
EARL HAD TO DIE.
EARL, WITH A SWIRL OF YOUR FAVORITE GIRL
EARWORM SLIPPED OFF THE HOOK (REDUX)
EAT BUGS
EAT YOUR MEALS WITH YOUR TOES
EATING TOO MUCH RASTA PASTA
EBONY AND IRONY
ECCE HOMOGENOUS (WRONG BARK RIGHT TREE)
EEYORIAN CANCER
effluvium dunk-tank MAX
EIGHT TRACK MIND
eighteen-wheel cross country truculence MAX
ELECTRIC SEX MACHINE
ELIVS' LAST SINGLE-"IT'S MY POTTY AND I'LL DIE IF I WANT TO"
EMPTY GRAVY BOATS
ENDING YOUR BANGING WITH A WHIMPER
ENTRY MARCH OF THE VOYEURS
EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JABBERWOCKY
EPOCH ECLIPSE
ETHEREAL PERTURBATIONS IN MY BEER BOTTLE AND MY SQUARE ROOT
EVERCLEARASIL
EVERYTIME A BELL RINGS, SOMEBODY GIVES ME A 3
EVIL TO THE CORPS
exfoliated by piranhas MAX
EXHIBITING FRUSTRATION TOWARDS ONE CRUSTACEAN
EXPLAINING REFERENCE - THEN DELETED (MAYBE STILL NOT FUNNY)
EXTRA ACTION TIDE
EXTRAORDINARILY POPULAR DELUSIONS
EYE OF THE TAE-BO (CLEANED UP)
EYES CREAM CONE
face down in the fondue MAX
face first into the furnace MAX
FACE PLANT ON A FIRE ANT
face-down in the deep end MAX
FAMOUS LAST NERDS (TWEAKED)
FAN-FICTION FOR MY FICTIONAL FANS
FARTS OF NATURE
FASTER, KILLCAT! PUSSY! PUSSY!
FATBACK TO THE FUTURE
FATHER KNOWS BREASTS.
FAUST COME, FAUST SERVED
FAVORITE MORTUARIES STOP 1: TOLEDO.
FEELINGS, NOW ON SALE
FELONIOUS MONK
festering on the fringes of finitude MAX
field guide to the underside MAX
fifty megaton stinkbomb MAX
FIGHTING THE PROPHYLAXIS POWERS
FILET KLINGON (OPEN 34160)
filigreed flotsam of fanciness MAX
FILLER UP WITH HIGH OCTANE
FILLIGREE FOR YOUR FRICASEE
finger food for the fatuous MAX
firmly fastened to the milk sac of misanthropy MAX
FIRST BASE, SECOND BASE, THIRD BASE, HOME
FIRST CLOWN IN AFTER THE BIG TOP FALLS, I GUESS...
first dibs on the last rites MAX
FIRST ROUND DRAFT PICK FOR WORLD WAR 3
FISTICUFFMANSHIP
FISTING WITH AN IRON RULE
FLACCID CHEESE SAUCE ON YOUR TACO
FLAG OFF!
flamenco-style fingernail removal MAX
flat-handed cactus slap MAX
flensing the flopping flanks of fun MAX
FLIGHT 77 BEGINS ITS FINAL REPROACH
FLIPPING THE BIRD, FANTASTIC (SPELLCHECK)
FLOAT LIKE A HOVERCRAFT, STING LIKE A BLADDER INFECTION
FLOATER IN THE DEEP END.
FLOGGING FURTHER THE FELINE FALLEN
FLOWER CHILDREN IN HARDCORE BEE FLICKS (CONTEST)
FLOWERS FOR ALGEBRA
FLUMMOX THE LUMMOX
FLUMMOXED FLAN LUMMOX
FLURRIES OF FLATULENCE
FNDLING PUPPIES BEHIND THE SHED--SCULLY
FONDLING FOUNDLINGS
FONDLING PUPPIES BEHIND THE SHED (GAR)
FONDLING PUPPIES BEHIND THE SHED (OPEN 2692, BY RAKFINK)
FONDLING PUPPIES BEHIND THE SHED (PRELOGGY MIX)
FONDLING PUPPIES ETC. - ENRIQUEZ STYLE
food for thoughtlessness MAX
FOR HE'S A FOLLY GOOD JELLO
forbidden fruit cocktail MAX
FORTIFIED WITH 8 ESSENTIAL VITAMINS
FORUM SWIPE: DENNIS CONROY'S "TURMOIL AT THE TURNIP FACTORY"
FOUR BLENDERS OF THE APOCALYPSE
four flopping flats on your funmobile MAX
FREE GUNS FOR THE POOP SHOOT
FREE THE INDY 500
FREE THE JESSE JACKSON 5
FREELANCED PANTS
FRESH CHOAD FOR YOUR HEAVY LOAD
FRESH QUIRTS FOR LITTLE SQUIRTS
fricative fundament fulmination MAX
FRIED CLAMS AND BURNT TACOS ARE A DENTAL DAMN
FRIENDLY SHARKS CALL ME CHUM
FROGS IN MY CLOGS
FROM CHADGUAY, WITH LOVE (OPEN 34163)
FROM THE PLATE TO THE TOILET
FROM YOU, ALL RIGHT! I LEARNED IT BY LISTENING TO YOU!
fruit-flavored floor wax MAX
fruits of the sluice MAX
FRY IT UP (MY VERSION OF #309)
FRY IT UP IN A PAN
FRY LIKE AN EAGLE (REDUX)
FRY THE FANNY FOR YOUR NANNY
frying bacon in the bedpan MAX
fully-accredited crap dojo MAX
FUN FOR THE WHOLE PHARMACY
FUNEREAL DISEASE
fur clog in the sausage grinder MAX
FURTHER DOWN THE SPIROCHETE
gabriel's spit trap MAX
GANGRENE FOR THE TEENS [FAILED AUDITION REWRITE]
GARBAGE BARGE OFF HUMOR'S COAST (REWRITE)
gargling with the goulash MAX
gas-powered rainforest wood seal club MAX
GAZING INTO THE VOID AND LAUGHING
GEEK GRRLS MAKE FUN OF MY FLOPPY DISK
GELATIN IN YOUR ARTERIAL WALL
GENERAL TSO'S CHOKED CHICKEN.
GENUINE COPY OF A FAKE STRIP
GET DOWN AND DO THE APOCALYPSO
GET YOUR DANDER UP FOR THE LOVING CUP
GETTING IN BAD TOUCH WITH YOUR INNER CHILD
GETTING JIGGY WITH COUSIN IT
GETTING LICKED WITH THE NATIVE TONGUE
GETTING SCALPED AT CUSTER'S LAST LEMONADE STAND.
GETTING STRANGE BLISTERS FROM YOUR REDNECK SISTERS
GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME PETEY TONIGHT!
GIVE IT ALL A LITTLE PAT OF SATAN!
GIVE ME A DESK JOB
GIVE THAT POPE A MULLET, 1
GIVES BABY JESUS GAS
GIVING OUT SAUSAGES FOR HALLOWEEN IS NOT KOSHER
GIVING THE FINGER IS JUST CURSIVE HANDWRITING (OPEN 16131)
GIZZARDS, GADZOOKS AND GADFLIES
glad tightenings and seasonal greasings MAX
GLASS AND STEAL
GLASSY MCJAGGEDSHARD'S CANDY FACTORY
GLENGARY, GLEN CAMPBELL
glistening spleen in the soup tureen MAX
glistening suction cups on the headboard of hebetude MAX
glitter in your gruel MAX
glittering saliva chinstrap MAX
GLOATING OVER KOSHER GONADS
GLOVEBOX HERO
GLUED TO YOUR SET
glutinous glop in your galligaskins MAX
GOING FURTHER SOUTH ON AN EVEN MORE BROKEN COMPASS
GOING OFF HALF-BAKED (MY OPEN 25623)
golden corn for the old and worn MAX
GOLDEN YEARS
GOLLUM IN THE GHETTO
GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY!
GOOF TROOP IN AFGHANISTAN
GORILLAS IN THE CANADIAN MIST (FIXED)
GRANDMA GOT BENT OVER BY A REINDEER
gravity's pull when your cavity's full MAX
gravy-stained laugh remnants MAX
GREASY KID ROCK STUFF
GREATEST THING SINCE BRICED SLEAD
GREMLIN FEVER! CATCH IT!
gristle-clog in the ham juicer MAX
gristle-encrusted filter on the humor generator MAX
GROPE THERAPY
GROWN UP KLISMAPHILIA LIST
GUAPO GUANO FROM GUAM
GUIDED MISTLETOE
GULLIBLE VEGAN BRAND BEEF JERKY
GUT MILK?
HACKING YOUR HAND OFF FOR THE FLYING CAR
HAIL TO THE PETEY!
HAIRWAY TO STEVEN (USED WITHOUT PERMISSION)
HAITOSIS AND NEUROSES
half-hearted sips from the sagging udder of boredom MAX
halfheartedly flung onto the fun heap MAX
HALO ROUND THE HECTACRE
HAMSTERS FOR HIPSTERS (THE "DUET WITH CHRISTOPHER" REMIX)
HAND ME DOWN GENES
hand-crocheted cozies for your vestigial flippers MAX
hand-hewn from fossilized pap MAX
hand-pumped silt frpm the once-rich wellspring of humor MAX
hand-tooled leather support brace on the burly back of bastardry MAX
hands across the bandsaw MAX
handsome strap-on orthopedic comic strip MAX
HAPPINESS IS A WIGGLY FERRET
HAPPY DOGS PLAYING LEAPFROG (MY TAKE ON 3957)
HARASSMENT MEANS NOTHING TO ME EITHER (MY TAKE ON 4356)
HARBINGER OF HEARTBURN HALITOSIS
HARD ON THE BEAVER
HARD ROCK CAFFEINE
HARRY POTTER AND THE ANAL INTRUDER
HASH HOUSE HOARIER
hatchet-job afterglow MAX
HAVE A CLEAR JOB OBJECTIVE IN MIND
HAVE A NAGILA
HAVE A NICE NIGHTMARE.
HAVE YOUR BUKKAKE AND EAT IT, TOO
HAVING A FLING WITH A COLD CHICKEN WING
HAVING YOUR BACKGROUND CHECK BOUNCE
HAZMAT IN YOUR MORNING NEWS (CYANIDE REMIX)
HE MADE A RADIO OUT OF COCONUTS, BUT COULDN'T FIX THE HOLE IN THE BOAT
HE SHOOTS, HE SCARS
HE WAS GOING FOR MY GUN!
head cheese on a knuckle sandwich MAX
head first into the hardpan MAX
HEAD IN THE CLASS
headfirst into the hobart MAX
heart-shaped patch on the quilt of inappropriateness MAX
HEAVY ON THE GRAVITY
HEAVY PETTING ZOO
HELICOPTER BUNGEE JUMPING (REMADE OPEN 104)
HELL'S BELL CHOIR
hell-bent for naugahyde MAX
HELLACIOUS NERF SMACKDOWN
hellish hail of molten mirth MAX
HELP ME, COSBY, HELP HELP ME, COSBY!
HELP PETE HELP SOREN TEST THE SITE!
HELTER SKELETOR
HEP A BROTHA OOT
HERE'S LOOKING AT YOU, KITT
HERMENEUTIC HYPERBOLIC HAMPSTER HANDS
HEX BIN LADEN EDITOR (NON PIRATED EDITION)
HEY DIDDLE DIDDLE THE CARTER AND THE FIDEL
HEY, WHAT'S THIS "SAVE" BUTTON DO...
hi-octane shlock vapor lock MAX
HIGH-SPEED DISIMPACTION
high-strung herald of the haphazard MAX
HIM-O-RAGIN'
HIPPO THROUGH THE TULIPS
HISTORIC TERRORISM - BLAST FROM THE PAST
HIT ME ANOTHER FUNGO, JERRY
HITLER DRANK WHISKEY CAUSE IT MADE HIM MEAN.
HO HO HO, GREEN GIANT
HOCK HOCK HOCKIN' ON BEVAN'S FLOOR
HOCKING UP A LOOGY OF LOVE
HOEDOWN DITTY SHAME
HOLIDAY PRESENTATION IN A CLEAR, FESTIVE ACRYLIC
HOLY ROMAN CANDLE
HOMAGE TO FROMAGE
HOME AGAIN
HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS
honey wagon hayride MAX
hood-mounted carcass spatula MAX
HOP ALONG VASELINE
HOPE I DIE BEFORE I NEED PORN
hopped up on what you mopped up MAX
HORNIER THAN THOU
HOROSCOPES FOR HAMPSTER RAPISTS
horse-whip strap lather MAX
horse-whipped with a goatskin cat-o'-nine-tails MAX
HOT BLOODED
hot buttered fungus MAX
HOT CROSS BUNS OF STEEL
HOT, SWEATY, AND ALWAYS READY
HOTDOG RELISH FETISH
HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE PYORRHEA?
HOW MUCH BONE COULD A BONE SAW SAW IF A BONE SAW COULD SAW BONE? V.2
HULK JUST WANT TO GET SMASHED
HUMOR EXPECTORANT (SPELLCHECK)
HUMOR IN A BROWN PAPER ENVELOPE.
HUMOUR'S SMEAR TEST
HUNGRY HUNGRY HERPES
HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPIES (REVISED)
HURDY GURNEY
HYDROCHLORIC EYE DROPS
I AM IRON SUPPLEMENT MAN
I AM NOT GOD, BUT HERE'S MY TAKE
I AM THE GEEK THAT HACKS IN THE NIGHT!
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTOCKS
I DID IT MY WAY
I DISMEMBER MOMMA
I DO NOT EAT GREEN EGGS AND HAM. ESPECIALLY ON DISNEY CRUISE LINES
I FONDLE THE BODY ELECTRIC
I GAVE AT THE ORIFICE
I GOT A B+ IN AFTERMATH
I GOT TWO ZEBRAS FOR CHRISTMAS
I IMMUNE GEN, AN A LOOSE YA
I KILLED THE STARSHIP ENTERPRISE (OPEN:25271)
I KNOW RIGHT WHERE YOU CAN STICK THAT "DISAPPEARING FENCE", BUDDY
I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT WHAT AM I?
I KNOW, I KNOW... IT'S VILE.
I LOVE EATING SHIKSA, BOB.
I ME MIME
I NEED AN INSANITY CLAUSE
I ONCE GOT BUSY IN A BURGER KING BATHROOM (OPEN 13831)
I PUT THE F-U IN FUN (OPEN 15195)
I REMEMBER DIORAMA
I SHOT THE BLUEBIRD OF HAPPINESS IN THE ASS
I WANT YOUR SOCKS (SALVAGED, ORIGINAL TAG FORGOTTEN)
I WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH WONDER WOMAN, GOT CAUGHT DOING HEROINE
I WEAR GREEN ON THE OUTSIDE BECAUSE I FEEL MINTY ON THE INSIDE
I WISH I MAY, I WISH I MIGHT... I WISH I HAD A MILLER LITE.
I'M GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA BORN EVERY MINUTE
I'M LIKE RUBBER, YOU'RE LIKE GLUE
I'M NOT AN ACTOR BUT I PLAY ONE ON TV (TAKE 3)
I'M PROUD TO BE A COLD MINOR'S MOTHER
I'VE GOTTA TAKE A CHEESE WHIZ
IAMBIC RANTS IN LATEX PANTS
IDEA BY KAREN
IF ELLA FITZGERALD MARRIED DARTH VADER
IF FUNNY IS POWER, THEN A SLAVE AM I
IF IT'S NOT NAILED DOWN
IF THE BABY DOESN'T LIKE THE MILK, YOU SHOULD BOIL IT
IF YOU TOSS THE DWARF, DON'T TELL THE ELF
IGNORE THE TINY CROP CIRCLES IN YOUR CILIA
ILLICIT TRANKS FROM THE POLLUTED-MEME BANKS
IMMACULATE CONTRACEPTION - WELL, THERE WENT THE HOLIDAY
impromptu saliva bath MAX
IN ENGLAND, WE PASS THE DEUTSCHE ON THE LEFT HAND SIDE
IN FRONT OF MANN'S CHINESE THEATER 'N EVERYTHING!
IN HOME TRIAL BY JURY
IN JAPAN, THEY CALL IT "ERECTION DAY"
IN THE NEWS
INALIENABLE BLIGHTS
inappropriate feelings toward the skin peelings MAX
INCENSED AND PEPPER SPRAYED
INCOGNITO WE TRUST
increasingly frequent forays into flaccidity MAX
INDENTURED SAVANT
industrial waste of time MAX
ineluctable bile duct gusher MAX
INEXPENSIVE SOY EXTENDER FROM S. KOREA
INNA GOTTA LA VITA LOCA
INSANE FOR BOB CRANE
INSANE SQUIRRELS WITH GAPING CHEST WOUNDS
INSPECTED BY NUMBER 9...NUMBER 9...
inspected by number twelve MAX
INSPECTOR DIM OF THE YARD
INTENSIVE CARE VACATION
interminable onslaught of offal MAX
INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PANHANDLING 2.0
IRAQ MY BRAINS
IRON CROSS BUNS OF STEEL
IRRELEVANT IRREVERENCE
IS IT GONNA BE YOU AND ME FOREVER? (OH OH OH)
IS THIS THING ON?
ISN'T IT BIONIC?
IT WAS A PERFECT DAY.
IT WAS THE BEST OF SHOW, IT WAS THE WURST OF BRAT
IT'S A LONG WAY HOME.
IT'S A MYSTERY WRAPPED IN BODYBAG
IT'S A SICK, SICK WORLD
IT'S ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE
IT'S AN OFFICE IN A SUBMARINE (OPEN 15133)
IT'S BEGINNING TO SMELL A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS.
IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S TRUE
IT'S GOT A GOOD BEAT AND YOU CAN DANCE TO IT
IT'S LIKE BUTTAH!
IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU THINK YOU HAVE TO PASS GAS, BUT YOU'RE WRONG
it's not just awful...it's god-awful MAX
IT'S NOT THE BALLET THAT KILLS YOU
IT'S NOT THE MEAT, IT'S THE HUMIDITY.
IT'S NOT THE WHINING, IT'S THE TAKING PART
IT'S ONLY A CLICHE IF IT SUCKS; OTHERWISE, IT'S AN ARCHETYPE
IT'S ST. PATRICK'S DAY ALL OVER AGAIN. GOD SAYS, "GET DRUNK!"
IT'S STAB-TASTIC 2.0
IT'S TEN O'CLOCK - DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR TAGLINE IS?
IT'S THE TAGLINES THAT ARE TRULY LOST, NEVER TO BE RECOVERED
itch-fighting cortex ointment MAX
ITCHY FINGERS ON THE GO
ITCHY TUSH, SMELLY FINGERS
JACK IN THE PANDORA'S BOX
JACK PALANCE PALACE: ACCENTLESS VERSION.
JACK SPRATT IS ON THE ATKINS DIET
jackhammer chiropractic MAX
jackhammered funnybone powder MAX
JALAPENO POPPLES
jalapeño suppository steering mechanism MAX
JEHOVAH'S WITNESS IN CONTEMPT OF COURT
JEREMIAH JOHNSON SINGS THE BLUES
JESUS LOVES YOU, BUT HE DOESN'T HAVE TO LIKE IT
JIHAD A BABY IT'S A BOY
JIMMY HOFFA BRAND CEMENT MIX
jingle-jangle exit wound MAX
JOHNNIE WALKER BLEW
JOKES THAT INBREED
JORGE LUIS OF BORG (NEW AND IMPROVED)
JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR YAWN
JUKEBOX FOR MIMES
jumbo scoop of raw shrimp sorbet MAX
JUMPIN' JACK FLATULENCE
JURASSIC PARK 4: IN SPACE
JUST A DOT IN THE SHARK (ANOTHER OLD JOKE BEEN CANNIBALIZED)
JUST A WEATHER BALLOON
JUST BECAUSE NOBODY CAN UNDERSTAND YOU DOESN'T MEAN IT'S ART
JUST SAY NO2
JUST SO YOU KNOW, "DOLOMITE" IS NOT AN ELEMENT
JUSTICE IS SWEET, BUT TOBLERONE TASTES BETTER
KAPPA COW GANG-PURGE
KARMAGEDDON
KIBBLES AND GRITS
KILLING THE INSTANT MESSENGER FOR THE MESSAGE
KINKO DE MAYO
KINKY STATISTICIANS ARE STANDARD DEVIANTS
KITTENS MADE INTO MITTENS
KITTENS!! ON FIRE!!
KNEE-JERK CHEMICAL REACTION
KNOTTED DENTAL FLOSS
KNOW WHY NO HOW
KNOW YOUR ENEMA
knuckle-bone skid marks MAX
KURT BUSIEK'S ATROCITY (REVISED)
L. RON HUBBARD WENT TO HIS CUBBARD TO GET JOHN TRAVOLTA A BONE
LA DELIMMA GEOMETRIQUE
LA DON E RACHELE
LA LUCHA LUNCHEON
LACK OF CONCENTRATION CAMP
LARGISH, LAVISH LIVING ROOM
LAST OF THE RED HOT POKERS (SLIGHT RE-WRITE)
LATEST REARRANGEMENT OF PUCCINI'S GREATEST HITS
LE BATMAN, C'EST MOI
LE PEN EST MIGHTIER THAN LE SWORD
LEAD LINED CHARISMA BRIEFCASE
leaky humorous waste containment cannister MAX
LEARN IN HELL
LEATHER AND LACE
LEAVE 'EM ALONE, WILLIAMS?
LEFT MY RELIGION IN MY OTHER PANTS
LEFT MY RELIGION IN MY OTHER PANTS (MY TAKE)
LEGGO MY EGO
LEGGO MY PURSE! (IF THEY CAN DO IT, I CAN, TOO.)
LEGGO MY PURSE! (MY ATTEMPT)
LEGGO MY PURSE! (NEPALESE YAK EDITION)
LEGIONS OF 'WEGIANS FROM THE BOREAL REGIONS
LEGO OF MY PURSE OR I'LL SIC PRELOGGY ON YOU
LEMME GIVE THIS SHOWER THANG A SHOT
LEMON PLEDGE DRIVE
LEMURS: WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW
LET IT PLEAD (MY TAKE, WITH PERMISSION)
let's be honest... my kid draws like crap MAX
LET'S KEEP THOSE HANDS ABOVE THE TABLE
LETTING THE POX GUARDING THE ZENHOUSE
LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON NITROGLYCERINE
LICENSED TO ILL
LICK ME A LADY TONIGHT
LIFE IN THE FOOD CHAIN
LIFE IS JUST A BOWL OF CHERRY BOMBS (V. 2.1)
LIGHT THE TRIP FANTASTIC
LIKE HIS GRANDFATHER BEFORE HIM, ONLY WITH A BIGGER ARREST RECORD
LIKEE ME BIKEE?
LIME SPACE-CRAFT?
LINCOLN LOGS FOR STINKIN' HOGS
lincoln logs on the roosevelt recliner MAX
LINK, SIGN, AND HOOKER
LINKS ON YOUR E-MOTIONS
LIVIN' LA VIDA LO-CAL
LLAMA HA (THE ORIGINAL CLOWN COMIC)
LLLLEMON
LOLITA OF THE TRAILER PARK
LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAK
LOOK UPON MY WORKS AND DESPISE
LOOK, MAW! ANOTHER ANONYMOUS, SNARKY VOTER COMMENT!
LOOKS LIKE A TACO
LOOSE LIP SYNC SHIPS
LOPSIDED LAUGHTER LOZENGES (ATTRIBUTION: EMO)
LORD OF THE NIPPLE RINGS
LORD OF THE SWINGS
LORD, PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR WHAT I AM ABOUT TO POST
LOVE POEMS FROM THE DEVIL
LOVE TO HEAR THE GOBLIN GOIN' TWEET TWEET TWEET
LOW BLOW JOB
LOW-CELESTIAL SPREAD
LOWER MENTAL CASE
lukewarm juices with no excuses MAX
LUNCH LADY OF THE NIGHT
LURKING IN THE WIRES
luxuriant, deep-pile carpet bombing MAX
MA BARKER'S MAGIC MARKERS
MACKIN' ECONOMICS
MADONNA CAN FRENCH KISS MY ASS
maggoty morsels of misanthropy MAX
MAKE MINE MINK
MALIGNANT, GREASY TUMORS IN YOUR COLON
MAN OR AIMEE MANN?
MANACLED TO A CANNIBAL WHO MAKES TYPOS
MANATEES MEANDER IN THE MORNING
MANCHURIAN TAKEOUT IN CARDBOARD CONTAINERS
manifold mosaic of the mundane MAX
MANLY YES BUT I LICK IT TOO
MANSON FAMILY TIES
MARCH COMES LIKE A LION THEN ROLLS OVER AND FALLS ASLEEP
marked by the musk of misery MAX
MARRY ITCHY BAND
MARTHA STEWART MAKES A DANDY GIMP
MARVEL MY ASS
MARY CATHERINE DIGS MARGARINE
MARY HAD A LITTLE LLAMA
MAS MACHO QUE DONUTS
massive otter spill at the oil refinery MAX
massive otter spill at the oil refinery MAX
MASTICATING ON YOUR MEAT FARM
mating meal of the mantid MAX
MAXIMUM SCHNITZEL OVERDRIVE
MAY WE DO WITH?
MAYONAISE-FILLED PINATA
MCTURTLE SOUP, FAST FOOD MADE FROM SLOW CREATURES
ME AND MY SHADENFREUNDE
ME LIE ABOUT MY LAI
MEAT THE PARENTS
MEAT THE PRESS. PRESS THE MEAT?
mediocrity's chocolatey flotilla MAX
MEET THE GALLSTONES
MEET THE LAST OF THE PETEY TAGS
MEET YOUR OWN BUILD (REVISED)
MELLIFLUOUS IDEAS POURING INTO MY HEAD
MELTED CHOCO-SHORTS 2.0
MEN, I'M EMINEM
MENS SALA IN CORPORE SALO
mercilessly mired in mayonnaise MAX
MERINGUE MERENGUE
MERKIN SHE WROTE
MESSILY WE MASTICATE
miasmic molasses for the masses MAX
microwave pet carrier MAX
MICTURATION NATION
milk toast for pantywaists MAX
MILKWALKING THE GREEN MILE
MILLION MAN MULCH (ATTRIB: SLUGGY FREELANCE)
MIME CONTROL
MINNIE MOUSE GETS SLIPPED A MICKEY (OPEN 13832)
minuscule flyspeck spatula MAX
MINUTE VICE
mirth-tinged monotony MAX
mirth...in a jiffy MAX
MISSION IMPERCEPTIBLE
MODIFYING THE HERB
moldering melon-balls of mirth MAX
moldering mementos of merriment MAX
MONKEY FOR OLD ROPE
MONKEYS MATING IN THE MOONLIGHT
MOO-VE ALONG
MOON OVER DHARMA (ATTRIB DAMMIT: 5540)
MORE FETID THAN FETED (4TH REVISED)
MORE PEEPS HUMOR (I USE THE TERM LOOSELY)
more porridge for the engorged MAX
more poured-on ordure MAX
MORE RIDING THE PORCELIN BUS WITH RALPH
MORNING RADIO GAG STEAL
MOUNTAIN STEW
MOUSE TRAP MEAT TENDERIZER
mouthful of molten muck MAX
mr. darwin's neighborhood MAX
MR. MXYZPTLK GETS DIAGNOSED WITH DYSLEXIA
MR. PETEY, IN THE REDUX, WITH THE CHEESE SLICER
mucilage in your fuselage MAX
MUFFIN-SHAPED PUFFIN
MUFFLED MOANS IN THE OUTER ZONES
MULLET THE BLUE SKY
MUSIC FOR THE WILTED GENERATION
MUST BE THIS TALL TO WRITHE
MUST..FIND..JODIE..FOSTER
MUSTARDSEED LIFESAVER (ORIGINAL AUTHOR, WITH TWEAKING)
MUTATIS MUTANDIS
MY ANUS IS BLEATING
MY BEER GETS MORE HEAD THAN I DO
MY BIG FAT GEEK WEDDING
MY BIG, FAT ZORBA THE GREEK WEDDING
MY COMPUTER'S SILICON IMPLANT
MY EYES! THE GOGGLES, THEY DO NOTHING!
MY GRANDMA CAN BEAT UP YOUR GRANDMA(REVISED)
MY IQ IS BELOW MENDOZA, MY WEIGHT IS ABOVE IT
MY KINGDOM FOR A COUPLE BUCKS
MY KINGDOM FOR A DECENT TAGLINE!
MY LITTLE JACK CHICKADEE
MY MEAT IS ALREADY BUILT, THANK YOU
MY MISSLE SEEKS HEAT
MY MONGOLIA
MY NAME IS OZZY OSBOURNE, KING OF KINGS
MY NEUTRASWEEET LORD
MY NOSE RUNS. MY FEET SMELL. I'M BUILT BACKWARDS.
MY OPEN AUDITION 34... NOW LOST FOREVER (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY BP)
MY SNOWMAN IS LOOKING FOR A SNOWBLOWER
MY THREE SONS OF BITCHES
MY YO-YO COULD WRITE A BETTER COMIC
MYANMAR SHAVE
mysterious mound on your mantelpiece MAX
NAM DAED NO EM NRUT
naptime on the railroad tracks MAX
NARC, THE LOOKOUT ANGELS CRY!
NAT KING COLD
NATTERING NABOBS OF NUDISM
NATURAL BORN PILLARS OF THE COMMUNITY
NAUGAHYDE IN PLAIN SIGHT (REDUX)
nebulous nibs of nutriment MAX
NECKTIE OF THE GODS
NEEDS A BETTER 3. DON'T THEY ALL?
NEGATIVES AND SUCH WAS A LITTLE MUCH
NEIGHBOURHOOD CROTCH (JUST ANOTHER IDEA)
NEIGHBOURHOOD SWATCH
neoplasmic nodule necklace MAX
NEVER RUB ANOTHER MAN'S RHUBARB
NEW ENGLAND PUPPY CHOWDER
new uses for spent juices MAX
NEW, IMPROVED ZYCLON-B. KID TESTED, MOTHER APPROVED!
NEWLY REFORMULATED AND LEMONY-FRESH
nibbled to death by marmosets MAX
nibbling at the nubs of nihilism MAX
NIELS BOHR LIKES BLOW UP DOLLS
NIGHTTIME SNIFFLIN' SNEEZIN'
nine-foot-long outhouse ladle MAX
nine-foot-long outhouse ladle MAX
NO BRAINERS GIVE ME HEADACHES
NO CAKE FOR THE CULTURED
NO COMPRENDE THE ENDE
NO MORE MR. LICE GUY
NO PARKING IN THE WHITE ZONE
NO REST FOR THE DENIS LEARY (BY SUGGESTION)
NOBODY LOVES ME. NOT EVEN JESUS.
NON NUCLEAR FAMILY PROLIFERATION TREATY
non-addictive humor substitute MAX
NON-FAIRY CREAMER
non-prescription pep remedy MAX
non-skid trouser kickplate MAX
NOSE HAIRS IN YOUR SOUFFLEE
NOSECANDYLAND
NOSFERATU'S MONSTER.COM LISTING
NOT AS FUN AS GARGLING LACQUER THINNER, BUT THEN, WHAT IS?
NOT ENTIRELY QUITE LIKE LICKING A COB OF CORN
NOT FOR USE WITH UNEXPLAINED MUSCLE SORENESS
NOT SO MUCH BAD TASTE AS NO TASTE AT ALL
NOT SOLD IN STORES AT ANY PRICE
NOTHIN' BUT A SMILE
NOTHIN' THAT A HOT MOCHA ENEMA COULDN'T FIX (PG VERSION)
NOTHING WRONG WITH THE OCCASIONAL CROSS REFERENCE
nourishing nuggets of nether nougat MAX
NOW IS THE TIME FOR ALL GOOD MEN TO JUMP OVER THE LAZY DOG
NOW ON THE WB - JOE NICKELAIRE
noxious zephyr from the humor cannery MAX
NUCLEAR MISSALS FOR MASS DESTRUCTION
NUDGE NUDGE WINK WINK
nutricious nectar nodules MAX
NUX VOMICA VOBISCUM
NYE GUY, THE SCIENCE BILL
OAKENFOLD ORIGAMI
OBLIVIOUS TO THE OBVIOUS
ODE: ON THE DEATH OF A FAVORITE CAT, DROWNED IN A MILKMAN'S TUB
OFF THE GRAPPLING HOOK (REWRITE)
OFFERING HUMANITARIAN SLINGBLADE
OH MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF PORN STARS (WITH CLOWN)
OH NO! NO OZONE!
OH RIGHT, GET A SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE
oing! now that's a comic strip MAX
ointment-dipped orthopedic overalls MAX
OK KID, BUT THIS IS THE LAST TIME
OLD FARTS STILL SMELL
OLD GAG, NEW TRIX
OLD SCHOOL TAE BO
OLD-GROWTH REDNECK
OMNES GENTES PLAUDITE
ON DONNER, ON HANS BLIXEN!
ON THE GRAVY TRAIN, BUT SEATED IN THE SNOT CABOOSE
on the tippy-toes of tastelessness MAX
ON-GOING BONGO-ING
ONCE MORE, WITH FRITZ FRELING
ONE FOR THE HONEY, TWO FOR THE HO HO HO
ONE HITS THE BOY WONDER
one picture is worth a thousand welts MAX
ONE SIZE FITS ALL
one-way ticket to torpor MAX
ONLY THE GOOD CY YOUNG (FIXED)
ONLY USERS LOOSE DRUGS.
OOGA BOOGA RAH RAH RAH V 1.2
OOH, HE'S GOT A CHUBBY TUMTUM
OOO! THAT SMARTS (VACA).
OOO! THAT SMARTS.
OPEN 5936: STAMP COLLECTING ON PARK PLACE
OPEN 6099: X-MEN!
OPEN 9430: PURGE OF GLURGE
OPEN 9475: THE STRIP WITH TOURETTE'S SYNDROME AND SPORADIC APHASI
OPEN 9480: SUPPURATING BLISTERPACKS OF FUN
OPEN 9554: REFRESHING NECRO WAFERS
OPEN 9594: NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD HORSE
OPEN EDIT 29514: THE SCENT OF BURNING TURKEY ON THANKSGIVING MORNING
OPEN MEAT NIGHT AT THE IMPROV (OPEN 25507, REVISED)
OPEN REPOST 1: EVEN JESUS HATES CREED
OPEN REPOST 2: ERSKINE BOWLING FOR DOLLARS
OPEN TOAD WATER MOCCASINS
open wider for the magic cider MAX
OPENRMCS #2068
OPENRMCS #2780
OPENRMCS #2872
OPENRMCS #4312
OPENRMCS #4641
OPENRMCS 25474
ORANGINA PROUDLY PRESENTS MY ASS
OU8UB402
OUT OF CHARM'S WAY
OVERDONE TO DEATH AND OVER SAID TO DEAF
OVEREXPOSED UNDERWIRE
overlarge underplug afterburn MAX
oversized chuckle suppository for the chronically unamused MAX
OXYCONTIN MORON
OYSTER CULTS AND CLAM COVENS
OYSTERS ON THE OPEN RANGE
PAGING DR. FAUST
palpably pointless payload MAX
panoramic pageant of poop MAX
PAPER MACHETE
PAPPA ROACH HOTEL CALIFORNIA
PARABOLIC MIKE BRADY (REVISED)
paragon of pointlessness MAX
PARANOIA IS MY ONLY FRIEND
PARASITES BEATS TWO PAIR
PAT FAXES FLAT TAXES
PAYING THE PLAYDOH PHONE BILL
peanuts on the poop deck MAX
pedal-powered stink generator MAX
PEDESTRIAN AT BEST. VERSION 3.0
PEEK A BOO! PART TWO
PENCIL TEST OF THE THIRD BEST
pencilnecks on the poop deck MAX
PENGUINS ROLLING OFF THE PRECIPICE (ONCE MORE WITH FEELING)
PENI TENTI NON PENITENTPOLE
PENTAGONS, HEXAGONS, AND EPIGONE
PEON, PIAF- THE PEER!
PER DIEM FOR YOUR PERINEUM
perdition's pemmican pouch MAX
perdition's pogo stick MAX
PERFECT TETRIS DOES NOT A PERFECT MAN MAKE.
perfectly palatable protein pulp MAX
PERPETUAL LOTION MACHINE
PEST STRIP TEASE
PETA PITA PITTER PATTER
PETE PETEY MCPETEPETE, LEADER OF THE PETE BRIGADE
PETEY TELLS A TRUE STORY.
PHILLIP GLASS HALF EMPTY
PHLEGM COATING AND CHEWY WAFERS
PHLEGM FOR EVERYBODY
PHONING PLAYDOH TECH SUPPORT
PICKLED HERRING AND WHITEFISH
PICKLED MIDGETS CAMPAIGNING FOR TOOTH CARE
PICO DE LECHE
PICTURES OF MATCHSTICK MEN AND EARL
PIERCING ABE VIGODA
pigeon pudding in your propellor MAX
pinking shear tracheotomy MAX
PIPE BOMB DREAMS
PIRATES OF PISS-ANTS
PISSING ON YOUR TYPO-FREE COMPOST HEAP
PISTIL WHIPPED HONEY SLUT
piston-powered puerility MAX
pit lather and gravy stains MAX
PITCH A LITTLE WOO, LOW AND OUTSIDE
PIZZA WITH EVERYTHING, NO BON JOVI PLEASE (2ND HELPING)
PLASTER DISASTER
plastic fruit for a starving nation MAX
PLAYBOY VS. THE GAY BOY
PLAYING WITH THE PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR (I WISH)
PLEASANT DREAMS OF CLYDESDALE TEAMS (REWRITE BY SUGGESTION)
PLEASE PASS THE SARIN GAS
PLEASE SIR, MAY I HAVE A WHORE? (EXTENSIVELY REVISED)
PLOP, PLOP, FIZZ, WHIZ
PLUMP DUMPLINGS OF MOIST BEDEVILMENT
PLUMP DUMPLINGS OF MOIST BEDEVILMENT (REWRITE)
POACHING FROM "GO DIE" ONE LAST TIME
pocked with hot grommets MAX
pocket-size butterfly wing clippers MAX
POE, YOU'RE SHOOTING BRICKS. {IT'S OKAY, WE ALL HAVE DAYS LIKE THAT.}
POETRY IN FREEZE-FRAME
pointy papules for the populace MAX
polyester slacks museum MAX
POMPANO CIRCUMSTANCE
POND SCUM ON THE SURFACE OF THE MIND
poorly drawn by billy, age 8 MAX
POP TARTS FOR YOUR BLOWHOLE
POPCORN QUIZ, HOTSHOT
porcupine pelt pillow MAX
portable backyard sinkhole MAX
POST ILNESS RECONSTRUCTIONALISM
POSTAL WORKER CONTRACTS DREADED "BASKET FULL OF PUPPIES"
POSTMORTEMISM
POTASSIUM POSSUM HYDROXIDE
PRE-CHEWED LUDE, DUDE
PRE-EMPTIVE DYKE (WELL FROM WHAT I CAN REMEMBER)
PREACH MELBA 2 (COOKED)
PREMOISTENED PANTS
prescription-strength comedy reliever MAX
PRESIDENT PASTA
PRETTY AS A PITCHER
PRETZEL LODGERS
PRIORITIZING MY TOP TEN LIST
product-free cruelty MAX
PROPANE PIROUETTES
protracted full-body tweezer depiliation MAX
PSYCHOBABBLE AND THE FORTY PEEVES
PSYCHOPATH MIDGETS STORM KREMLIN
PULITZER MY FINGER
PULLING MUSCLES FROM MICHELLE
pulverized funnybone jelly MAX
PUMP ACTION PIMP
pungent unguent for stump-itch MAX
pungent unguent for stump-itch MAX
PUPPIES: FREE TO GOOD HOME, MAKE EXCELLENT MOVING TARGETS
PUT YOUR HAND IN THE FAN OF THE MAN THAT PASSES WATER
PUTS THE ORAL IN FUNERAL (MY TAKE)
PUTTING THE "FUN" IN "UNFUNNY" (GRAMMAR CHECK)
PUTTING THE COARSE BEFORE THE HEART
PUTTING THE HAIR IN "HARROWING"
PYROS FOR PORNOS
Q*BERT QUESTIONS THE QUARRY
quarter-ton bumpercar MAX
QUESTIONS? CALL 1-800-733-6328.
QUIVERING ON THE END OF THE FORK
RABID, FOR HER PLEASURE
RAGE AGAINST MISTER CLEAN
RAGTIME IN THE RUMPUS ROOM
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARKANSAS (OPEN 12017)
RAINBOW BLIGHT
rainbow-flecked mandrill mulch MAX
RAINFOREST CRUTCH
RAINING WHIPPETS ON YOUR WEEKEND WEDDING
RAKING UP THE YARD WITH POO
RAMADAN TOUGH
RAQUET IN YOUR PACKET (MY TAKE)
RAY CHARLES IN CHARGE
RAZING ALABAMA
razorblade whirlygig MAX
READYING THAT DELETE BUTTON
REAL BUTTERY TASTE IN EVERY BITE.
RECEDING ASS HAIR LINE
RECURSIVE (ADJ.) 1. SEE ALSO: RECURSIVE
red carpet rug burn MAX
RED MEAT ISN'T RED OR MEAT. DISCUSS
RED MEAT SURVIVIOR - JUST VOTE ME OFF THE WEB SITE!
REDONE SKIDMARKS ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR
REGARDING A JOKE THAT WILL NEVER HAVE THE RIGHT PUNCHLINE.
REISE DURCH EIN BRENNENDES GEHIRN
relentlessly serenaded by dancing chimney sweeps MAX
REMAINS OF THE GAY (DASHED BY POPULAR DEMAND)
REMIX: VOODOO CHILLI
REMOTE CONTROL BREAD SLOBBER
RENE DESCARTES BLANC
RENT-A-CARLSBERG
REPRISE ON A RAKFINK IN E MINOR
REPUBLICAN PARTY IN MY PANTS, AND EVERYONE'S INDICTED
REQUIESCAT IN PACE CAR
REQUIUM FOR THE TREATED AND RELEASED
retro-fitting for the unwitting MAX
RETURN TO BALTI-S'MORES!
REUNION WITH THE REAR ONION
REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED WITH A CHEAP PLASTIC TRINKET
REVIVAL OF THE RIVER OF TRIVIAL CONTRIVANCES
REWORKED AND RETURNED
RICKETS IN YOUR PICKETS (REWRITE)
RIDDLE ME THIS, BATMAN
RIDE A COCK HORSE TO ST. ANDREW'S CROSS
RIP-TIDE FOR YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW (TWEAKED)
RIVER DEEP, MOUNTAIN WIDE, FIRE GOOD
ROAD RASH HASH (CHICKENCOW)
ROAD RASH HASH (SOREN)
ROADKILL STEW FOR A REDNECK CREW (VERSION 2)
ROCK ME, MOTHER TERESA
ROCK OVER LONDON, ROCK ON CHICAGO
rock-hard abdominal cramps MAX
ROCKETTES TO RUSSIA
ROCKY AND KABULWINKLE
ROKY ERICKSON PART THREE
ROLLING DOWN THE RIVER OF BLOOD II
ROLLING STONE TEMPLE PILOTS III: THE LI'L RAT SKULLS
ROTO-ROOTER ROUSTABOUT
rotten egg incubator MAX
ROTTEN TO THE CORONER (BY SUGGESTION)
ROVING BLOOD BANK ATM
ROW ROW ROW YOUR BLOAT, VACA
rubber duck tub cudgel MAX
RUMBLE IN THE BUNG HOLE (REVISED)
runaway thresher at the puppy farm MAX
RUNNING TO THE BEATING OF A DIFFERENT BULLY
rust-rotted rainbow of regret MAX
rusted re-reb in your rumpus room MAX
rusty corkscrew acupuncture MAX
rutilant rugburn raspberries MAX
SAINTS VS LIONS, THIS SUNDAY IN ROME
salivary hot plate ballet MAX
salivary stock for septic stew MAX
SALTPETRE OF THE EARTH
SAMHAIN I AM
SAMSON AND DELI MEAT
SAMSONITE SUSPECTED IN SMUGGLING RING
sand dollars for the dirt-poor MAX
sandpaper backrub MAX
SANDRA'S TOUCHING HER NUCHAL TORUS
SARA BELLUM'S LOGIC
SARCOPHAGUS FULL OF ESOPHAGUS SAUSAGES
SASQUATCH WHERE YOUR GOING!
SATURATED SPIDERS OF SCANDINAVIA
sausages for hostages MAX
SAVING PRIVATE PARTS AND MAJOR WOODY
SAY THAT WE'RE SWEETHEARTS AGAIN!
scabrous skivvy scrapings MAX
scented aspirin for perfume headaches MAX
SCINTILATING SENSATION OF ANAL ABRASION, ONE MORE
SCORBUTICAL SHENANIGANS
scotch tape for a cardboard utopia MAX
scouring the scraps from comedy's casserole dish MAX
SCRAPED FROM THE ASHES OF FINK'S FIREPLACE
scraping the roe from the slit-open belly of comedy MAX
SCREAM OF WHEAT
SEA MONKEY DO MONKEY
SECRETARY OF STATE PUNCTUATION - SEMICOLON POWELL
SECRETE, SANTA
SEDUCED BY THE DORK SIDE OF THE FARCE
SEE ME, FEEL ME, TOUCH ME, CLERGY
SEE YOU ROUND LIKE A PENTAGRAM
self-inflicted corduroy blisters MAX
SEMI SELF-CONCIOUS, FULLY SELF-DELUSIONAL
SENSIBILITY PURE AND SIMPLE
sermon-free humor MAX
SERVING THE CAT A BOWL OF SHREDDED TWEET (OPEN 32142)
seventy miles per into the brick wall of mirth MAX
SEXUAL ORGAN GRINDER
SHAKE ME, BAKE ME, RACK ME, SMACK ME
SHAKEN NOT STIRRED
SHAKESPEARE THE CLOWN (CANNIBALIZED)
SHAKIN' A BABY UNTIL SOCIAL SERVICES CAME
SHE SWIPED THE PEACE PIPE
shimmering summit of the so-so MAX
shipwrecked voyage of discovery MAX
SHIVER ME TIMBERS
SHOEHORN FOR THE SOUL
SHORT STACK OF SORROWCAKES
SHOUTING OBSCENITIES AT DEAF PEOPLE
SHOWER FAILURE
shower from the clocktower MAX
SHOWER REPOST TO TAKE IT OFF TEMP'S HANDS
SIGN THE PETITION; PUT BUG-EYED EARL ON SURVIVOR, NOW! (CORRECTED)
SILKY ANGER (REWRITE)
SILLY GENTILE! LOX IS FOR YIDS!
SILLY HOOKER, TRICKS ARE FOR KIDS.
SILLY STRANDS OF SEMEN
SILLY-STRING THEORY
SILVERFISH DINNER
SIMPLIFY, SIMPLIFY, SEMPER FI
SINGING PENTAGRAM
SINGING SOPRANOS IN THE VIENNA BOYS CHOIR (WITHOUT THE GANNET)
SINGLE CEL PHONED ORGANISMS
SINKS LEAVING A SHIPPING RAT
sinus affliction double feature MAX
SIPHONING DIESEL FOR THE ORPHAN BONFIRE
SIPPIN' ON GIN AND JUICE SOUP
SIRIUS DISCUSSION ABOUT URANUS
sizeable sips from the sputum spigot MAX
SKID MARKS ON ROADKILL TASTE LIKE GRILL MARKS ON BURGERS (2)
skid marks on your skullcap MAX
SLACK RODENT MOTHERFUCKER
SLAPPIN' THE SHRIMP ON BARBIE (THE GRILL NEXT DOOR).
SLEAZY WEASLES CATCH THE MEASLES
SLICED BEETLES AND BROKEN NEEDLES
SLIPPED DISCWORLD
SLIPPERY SLOPE OF VERSIMILATUDE
SLUGS ON THE RIM OF YOUR MARGARITA GLASS
SMALL TIME DUCK DEALER
SMELLS LIKE WHITE SPIRIT
SMELLY BAIT FOR YOUR FIRST MATE
SMOKEY & THE BANDIT... UNPLUGGED
SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT II . . . UNPLUGGED SOME MORE (RIFF ON 5253)
SMOKING IN THE BOY'S ROOM PRODUCES A HIGH STOOL
SMOKING SWEDES
SNACKING FROM THE DIAPER BIN
snapped axle on the wonder wagon MAX
SNAPPING PENNANTS OVER THE NAPPING PENITENTS
SNORKLING IN JELLO (OPEN 21789 - NO AUTHOR EQUALS PUBLIC DOMAIN)
SNOW WHITE ENGAGES IN LOW BLOWS
SO MANY METAS, SO LITTLE SCORE
SOARING ON THE WINGS OF DESIRE
SOLDIER OF FORTUNE COOKIE (REVISITED)
SOLVING A PALTRY GEOMETRIC DELIMMA
SOME LOATHSOME LOAD
SOMEBODY DONE SOMEBODY'S SONG WRONG
SOMEDAY, YOU'LL LOOK BACK ON THIS AND LAUGH. OR WEEP BITTERLY.
somersault into the asphalt MAX
something ripe in the bagpipe MAX
something sour in the squirt gun MAX
something strange in the squirt gun MAX
SOMETHING-D-O-O ECONOMICS
SOMEWHERE OVER THE OXBOW INCIDENT
SOOTHING SALVE FOR SORE FUNNYBONES
soothing salve for your intake valve MAX
SOUNDS LIKE...
SOUR GRAPES FOR YOUR JESTS AND JAPES
SPACE GOATS: COAST-TO-COAST (ATTRIBUTION: EMO)
SPACEMAN SPLIFF
SPACKLE FOR GRACKLES
SPAM OF THE LA....JUST LISTENED TO A COMMENT
SPAM ON THE LAM
SPAM ON THE LAM, WOAH BLACK BETTY
SPAM ON VAN DAMME
SPANKING THE BABOON'S BOTTOM
SPANKING THE ORGAN GRINDER
SPATIAL TEARS IN THE COMIC-TIME THEORY
SPEAK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BULLHORN
SPECIAL PROSECUTOR'S FAVORITE COMIC
SPEED BUMPS IN YOUR UNDERWEAR
SPELLCHECK (SPELLCHECKED)
SPINAL SLAP
spinning turrets of pure spite MAX
SPIT UP ON BY JEFFY, AGE 2
SPLEEN IS A THING WITH FEATHERS
SPLEENY: SPLEENLIKE, OR PERTAINING TO THE SPLEEN
SPOON SWOON MOON JUNE GOON
SPOTTY BEHINDS THROUGH MINI BLINDS.
spring-loaded ribcage tickler MAX
SPRINGHEEL JACK OF ALL TRADES
SPRINGS AND BARRELS OF OUTRAGEOUS FORESKIN
SPUNK YOUR MAN KEY
sputum-speckled splendor MAX
SQUATTING ON LINOLEUM
squirming grubs in the dirt of destiny MAX
STACCATO AND FUSCIA IN ASIA MINOR
STAIN PIMPLE TOILETS IN CONCERT
STAINED AND DELIVERED
STAINED PRESIDENTIAL CABINET
STALKING THE WILY MEME
STANDING OVATION AT THE PARAPLEGICS CONVENTION
STARS AND BARS
STARS UPON THARS'
STARTING THE SQUEALING PROCESS
STARTS TO WORK ON CONTACT
STAY A WHILE, OENOPHILE
STAYS FIRM IN MILK
STEAK 'N' SHAKE 'N' BACON BITS
STEP ON THE GAS
step stool of stagnation MAX
STERCORUM. ODI STERCORUM...
stick ponies for staff people MAX
still-steaming spite-squeezings MAX
STOP ME BEFORE I POST AGAIN
STOP, DROP AND DROLL
STRANGE GEL IN A STRANGE HAND.
STRIP CLUBS ARE PAY-PER-VIEW
strip-mined comedy ore MAX
STRIPEY PYGMY ZEBRA MOLLUSCS
STUCK IN A RUNAWAY GROCERY CART
STUMPING FOR BUSH
STUPID YOU!
SUB-STANDARD DEVIATION (TAKE 2)
SUBCUTANEOUS HUMOR GETS UNDER MY SKIN
SUBDUED PUDDING FRENZY
SUBMITTED FOR YOUR APPROVAL
SUBTERRANEAN HOMESICK BLUES CLUES
SUBURBAN SUBARU
SUCK ON OPEN 29925
sucker punch in the gut bucket MAX
SUCKING THE MARROW OUT OF LIFE
suction-pump laugh vacuum MAX
SUE ME - I AIN'T DELETING!
SUFFER, CHILDREN, SUFFER
SUGAR PLUMS AND GROPING BUMS
SUGARGLIDER BEE STING SMILE
SUMMER IN THE CITY
sun-bleached stripes on the big top of banality MAX
SUNDAY SUNDAY MONSTERRRR TRUCKS
SUPA MILKMAN SUSHI HAPPY HAPPY 100%
SUPPOSED FORMER INCUBATION JUNKIE
SUV RADIATION
SUZANNE SOMMERS EVE
sweat beads on your inner needs MAX
SWEATING ON MY LEATHER LAZY-BOY RECLINER
SWEDISH FLY
SWEET JESUS ON A STICK
sweetbreads for bottom feeders MAX
swift kick rib tickler MAX
SWIMMIN' WITH BOW-LEGGED WOMEN
SWINGING FROM A HANGING BANDOLIER
SYNAPSE FIRING SQUAD
SYRUP IN YOUR UNDERARMS
TACTILE RORSCHACH TEST
TAIWAN OHN AT THE CHINESE BUFFET (BASED ON OPEN 33936)
TAKE ME OUT AT THE BALLGAME.
TAKING OUT THE RASH (WITH A KNIFE)
TALES FROM THE CRIPS: EDITED OPEN 23743
TALK TO THE ELBOW (THE HAND'S NOT LISTENING) [SPELLCHECK]
TALK TO THE HAND
TAO JONES
TAR AR DO MHATHAIR
tarnished brass laugh snuffer MAX
tarpaper in the tissue dispenser MAX
TASTES JUST LIKE HOBBIT
taut tapestry of tendons MAX
TAWANA TOLD A FIB
TCS@B, V2
TEACHER'S PET
TED IS VOODOO CHILI
tedious tales of tomorrow MAX
tedium's oaken tent pole MAX
TEEN ESPRIT DE CORPS
teeny-tiny tadpole tether MAX
teethmarks in your upholstery MAX
TELETUBBYEVANGELISTS
TELLTALE TICKLE OF TAPEWORMS
TEMPORARY INANITY
TEMPTING FATE WITH DELICIOUS CHOCOLATES
TEPID POOL OF YOUR OWN FILTH
tepid tureen of taint MAX
TEQUILA MOCKINGBIRD
TEQUILA MOCKINGBIRD (BERNT BY HELLFIRE)
TEQUILA MOCKINGBIRD (VORRO'S GOING TO HELL REMIX)
TEQULIA MOCKINGBIRD (VACA, FOR THE HELL OF IT)
TERMINAL TITILLATION
TERROR FOR THE TERRIER
TESTICLES SWOLLEN WITH PRIDE
TESTICULAR FORTITUDE FOR THE DUDE
testing tedium's tensile strength MAX
THANK YOU, CLEAVLAND!
THANKS AND SPANKS
THAT HALIBUT WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR JEHOVAH
that solid waste after taste MAX
that solid waste aftertaste MAX
THAT'S NOT SPECIAL SAUCE
THAT'S ONE LARGE FRENCH FRY
THE AGONY AND THE X-BOX
THE AGONY AND, WELL, THE AGONY
THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF JOHNNY LEMONHEAD
THE ANSWER MY FRIEND IS BREAKING WITH THE WIND
the antidote for pleasant moments MAX
THE AWFUL WAFFLE TOWARDS GOD
THE BABY IN THE BATHWATER
the barnacle-encrusted bilge pump on your sunken dreams MAX
THE BASTARD SON OF A THOUSAND KEANES, REWRITE
the beckoning aperture of dismay MAX
the beneficient bosom of blasé MAX
THE BERBER OF NEGRIL
THE BITTER PILL WITH THE TASTE OF SWILL.
THE BLEEDING ABCESS ON THE GUMS OF COMEDY
THE BRIDGEWORK OF MIAMI-DADE COUNTY
THE BROKEN HOME STRETCH
the brownish splatters on all that matters MAX
THE BRUCIE BONUS!
the buckling beams of your hopes and dreams MAX
THE BUKKAKE OF COMEDY
the business side of doublewide MAX
THE CARNIVAL LEFT. NO FAIR.
THE CAT IN THE HAT COMES BACK WITH EAR MITES
the catsup bottle in your wine rack MAX
the catsup bottle in your wine rack MAX
the chitinous coating of your cares MAX
THE CLOSEST THING I'VE HAD TO INSPIRATION IN HALF A YEAR
THE COLOR OF PAIN
THE COMEDIC EQUIVALENT OF AN UNPLEASANT BURNING SENSATION
THE COMIC EQUIVALENT OF A CHERRY BOMB TAPED TO YOUR FOREHEAD
THE COMIC STRIP THAT WANTS YOU TO PUT IT DOWN AND BACK AWAY, SLOWLY
THE COMIC THAT REMAKES FLUFFY BUNNIES
THE COMIC THAT UNDERSTANDS "CLEVER OXYMORON" IS AN OXYMORON
THE COMIC THAT'S NO BETTER THAN THE PIXELS IT'S PRINTED ON
THE COMIC WHAT I WROTE ON WEDNESDAY
THE CONTAGION SPREADS INEXORABLY
the crinkley caress of crenulated crevice clips MAX
THE CRUEL CRAWLING FOAM
THE CYCLE OF LIFE HAS NO PEDALS
the dainty snap of a butterfly trap MAX
the delicate dew drops of disgust MAX
THE DEPARTMENT OF SURREALISM PRESENTS ... (V. 2.0)
THE DICEMAN COMETH
the dimpled rind of remorselessness MAX
the doleful mewling of freshly-weened wussies MAX
THE DOMIN-MATRIX
THE DUKES OF EARL
THE EASTER RABBI EATS PORK
the ebullient egg-sac of ennui MAX
THE EIGHT TRACK OF DESTINY
THE EMPIRE SMOKES CRACK
THE ENGLISH MAJOR WITH THE POLISH MINER
THE EXPANSION AND COLLAPSE OF THE ACCORDIAN EMPIRE
THE EYES OF BLISTEX ARE UPON YOU
the faded stains of meager gains MAX
THE FALL
THE FEARSOME SCREAM OF THE MOUNTAIN LOIN
THE FIRST RULE OF MIME CLUB
THE FIVE-EGG COMEDY OMELETTE
the flat tire on your inner journey MAX
THE FOUNTAIN HID
THE FOX AND THE HONDA (CLARIFICATION)
THE FRIEND, THE DOG, THE CAT, AND THE RAT
THE GAY LOGICIAN WAS AN EXPERT IN ANALOGY
THE GIRL THAT WON THE GOLDEN GLOBES AWARD (INSPIRED BY: THE ONION)
the glistening globules of glee MAX
the golden annointment of sheer disappointment MAX
THE GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN YOUR LIFE SENTENCE
the griddle that spits back MAX
THE GUNS N' ROSES CIRCUS SIDESHOW
THE HALF LIFE OF AN ELF
THE HANGING NADS OF THE BUSINESS WORLD
THE HANGNAIL OF COMEDY
the humor dial's lowest setting MAX
THE IMPOTENCE OF BEING ERNEST
THE INFORMATION SUPERCOLLIDER
THE JELLIED GRISTLE IN YOUR GIGGLE PORRIDGE
THE JUNG AND THE RESTLESS
THE KARMIC THRILL OF BUFFALO BILL
THE KEG AND I
THE LAZY DOG BUILDS A BETTER FOX TRAP
THE LISSOME DANCE OF THE ROTTEN PLUM FAIRIES
the lukewarm lather of lethargy MAX
THE MAD HATTER'S E-PARTY
THE MAGNIFICENT SE7EN
THE MATRIX ARE FOR KIDS
the mellifluous milk of monotony MAX
THE MILK OF HUMAN BLINDNESS
the moist chuckle of chain saws MAX
the mouldering mounds of mirth MAX
THE NEUTRON DANCE
THE NOMAD'S GONADS
THE NORMAN FELL RATIO
the official pace car for the apocalypse MAX
THE ONE WHERE TOM FIXES THE PUNCTUATION
THE ONLY REASON I EXERCISE IS TO HEAR HEAVY BREATHING AGAIN
THE PASTA FOR YOUR RASTA
THE PAUSE THAT REFRESHES
THE PENCIL-THIN MOUSTACHE FROM BEYOND!
THE PETEY GOES MARCHING OVER THE HILL, HURRAH!
THE PHOENIX THAT ROSE FROM MY ROACH BOWL
THE PILTDOWN MON
the pine-stench of jingle rot MAX
THE PITTER PATTER OF LITTLE DETACHED FEET
THE PORK SIDE OF THE MOON
THE PUNGENT AROMA OF THE PERMANENT COMA
THE QUIET STORMTROOPER
THE RASH IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE
the redolent remnants of roughage MAX
THE REFUSE I CAN'T REFUSE
THE RESULTS OF LOW BLOOD SUGAR AND FIVE WASTED MINUTES
THE RESURRECTED BUILDING OF WISENED SUBSERVIENCE
the rippling rugae of recompense MAX
THE RISE AND FALL OF THIRD BASS
THE ROAD TO ATTRITION KEEPS GETTING SMALLER
THE SANGUINEOUS FLUID FLOWING THROUGH THE VEINS OF HUMOR
THE SAVOURY SQUEEZINGS OF LEFTOVER MEAT
THE SECRET GORDON
THE SECRET OF ACRONYM (OPEN 25525)
THE SHOW ABOUT NOTHING
THE SICKER PICKER-UPPER
THE SILENCE OF THE LAMB CHOPS
THE SILENCE WILL DESTROY YOU....LOUDLY.
THE SLIMY TRAIL OF SNAIL MAIL
the sniffling snoot of sneapery MAX
THE SOOTHING SPLAT OF MELTING CAT
THE SOUND OF ONE HAND FAPPING
THE SOUND OF ONE HAND SLAPPING.
THE SPELLCHECKED COMIC FOR FARKLEMTOMANIACS
THE SPIRIT OF BRIS-MAS (REWRITE)
the squirting squids of squalor MAX
THE STACCATO BEAT OF RAINING MEAT.
the staccato drone of spontaneous monotony MAX
THE STEAMING MUG OF EARL: GRAY, HOT
THE STEVE JACKSON FIVE
THE SURPRISING SQUEEK THAT MAKES YOU PEEK
THE SWEET TASTE OF INSANITY
THE SWELLEGANT UNIVERSE
THE TAO OF TOM AND JERRY
the telltale tickle of tape worms MAX
the tickle of asphalt on the sagging belly of your lowered expectations MAX
THE TIP-OFF OF AN EMO PHILIPS RIPOFF
the tone-arm of turbidity MAX
THE TOOTHBRUSH IN YOUR CANDY STASH
THE TREEHUGGING HOTTIE WAS LEMURIFFIC
THE TREEHUGGING LEMUR WAS A HOTTIE
THE TREMULOUS HEIGHTS OF INANITY
THE TRUTH ABOUT PUSSY AND BITCHES
the tumescent teat of torpor MAX
THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING POACHED AGAIN
THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BOING
THE UNDERPOWERED SNOWBLOWER ON COMEDY'S DRIVEWAY
THE UNHOLY SPIRIT
the unlightable bareness of meat MAX
the unmistakable splatter of rotten mellons MAX
THE UNORTHODOX LIKENESS OF BEAN
THE VACUOUS VEINS OF VILLIANY
THE VAGUE FUGUE
the velvet tips on your underclips MAX
THE VERY LAST BURNED HAT OF THE DAY EVER
THE VIGILANTES IN YOUR PANTIES
THE WAGES OF SIN ARE $5 AN HOUR PLUS TIPS
the watery whey of whimsy MAX
the wet carpet treatment MAX
the wet snap of an oiled strap MAX
THE WHITE ELEPHANT OF COMEDY
the white-hot cure for sticky valves MAX
THE WILFORD BRIMLEY HOTLINE - DIAL-A-BETES
the wobbly wheels of wonder MAX
THEORY OF THE LEISURE-SUIT CLASS
therapeutic body-temp sump dunk MAX
THERE IS NO US IN UN
THERE'S A DEAD MAN ON THE OTHER END OF THIS MEGAPHONE
THERE'S A REVISED PANTOUM IN YOUR SESTINA
THERE'S A TRACTOR ON MY BALLS
THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM FOR JELL-O
THERE'S NO EXCUSE FOR DOMESTIC BEER (REVISED)
THESE SAPPY GOLDEN YEARS
THINKING MAN'S BIDET
THIS COMIC HAS NO TAGLINE, JUST WORDS AND A TUNE. (RE-POST)
THIS COMIC IS TO FUNNY LIKE IKE TURNER IS TO CARING
THIS COMIC WILL DISAVOW ANY KNOWLEDGE OF HUMOR
THIS COMIC WILL LOOK REAL GOOD AFTER FOUR BEERS
THIS COMIC WILL SELF-DELETE IN 5 ... 4 ... 3 ...
THIS IS NOT FUNNY!
THIS IS THE OPTIMUS PRIMEVAL
THIS IS THE STORY OF JOHNNY ROTTEN
THIS MAY BE MY DAD'S FAVORITE JOKE
THIS SPACE FOR RENT
THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK
THIS TAGLINE JUST WRITES ITSELF
THREE DOG FIGHT (EDIT)
THREE-PIECE LAWSUIT
THROWING UP IN THE BULLPEN
THUNDER HOS
tick-and-tapeworm parade MAX
TIE ME UP AND CALL ME SPANKY!
TIGER BY THE TESTES
TIGHT AS A TWELVE YEAR OLD'S BUM
TIME FOR TOFFEE CALK
TIME KEEPS ON SLIPPING INTO THE GUARD RAIL
TIME TRAVEL PAIR O' DOCS
TIPS FOR TEENS
TIPTOE THROUGH THE TRIFFIDS
TITS TO BE FRIED
TO STINK, PERCHANCE TO DREAM?
TOASTING A TOAD'S TURDS
TOBACCO'S TREMULOUS TANG
TOBEY OR NOT TOBEY MAGUIRE
TODAY'S HIGH SCORE IS APRIL EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH
TOFU SCRAMBLE
TOKYO CHEESE NIPS
TOLUENE IN YOUR FOG MACHINE
TONGUES OF FIRE ALL 'ROUND
TONIGHT, MATTHEW, I'M GOING TO BE GARY GLITTER
TONTO ES MUY INTELIGENTE (REWORDED BY SUGGESTION)
TOO HOT FOR TAHITI TROT (FROM OPEN)
TOO RED HOT FOR YOUR POPISH PLOT
TOPLESS AGGRESSION
tornado trailer park makeover MAX
TORPEDOS IN SPEEDOS
TOSS IT TO THE WOLVES AND LET THEM BITE, I SAY!
tossing corn cobs into the maw of uncertainty MAX
TOUCH ME I'M DICK
TOUCHED BY AN ANVIL (VALENTI MIX)
touched by an anvil MAX
TRAGICLY LUDICROUS OR LUDICROUSLY TRAGIC?
TRAINS, PLANES, AND AUTOMATONS
TRANSLUCENT DONKEYS ARE GLASSY ASSES
TREMBLING BEFORE ZOD
TRICK OR TREAT SMELL MY FEET TEACH ME HOW TO BUILD RED MEAT
TRICKLE-DOWN URINOMICS
trilobite tracks on your teleological treatise MAX
TRIPPING THE TRIPWIRE FANTASTIC
TROJAN HORSE CONDOMS
TROJAN WHORES
trouser mite pleat infestation MAX
TROUT STREAMS AND OTHER UROLOGICAL CONDITIONS
trowelled-on laugh line spackle MAX
TRUE STORIES FROM INFAMOUS PEOPLE
TRUE TO ITSELF
TRUE-LIFE TRAVEL TIP
TRUMAN CAPOTE'S A HUMAN COYOTE
tundra clump under-scrub MAX
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR TINY ELVIS IN YOUR PELVIS OR PARADOX LOST
turbo-powered tedium MAX
TURN YOUR HEAD AND SCOFF
TURN YOUR HEAD ANDY KAUF, MAN
TV BE THY GUIDE
TWICE-TRIPPED ON FROZEN FORMAL WEAR
TWIGGY TAKES ON MISS PIGGY
TWIN PEEK-A-BOO
TWO QUARTS OF PRETTY COLORS
two-and-a-half-inch denture screws MAX
U2 CAN BE ANNOYING
ultra-cruel head fuel MAX
UNCLE BEN'S CONDALEEZA RICE
UNCLEAN
underblast afterburn MAX
undergrid brown out MAX
underskin overhead afterbite MAX
UNDERWATER JOINT - A SCOOBY DOOBIE
UNGUENT FOR YOUR ENGAGEMENT RING OF FIRE
UNLUBRICATED JUSTICE
unplanned bathtub logjam MAX
unplugged humor respirator MAX
UNTIL WE MEAT AGIN...
upholsterer of the swollen MAX
URANUS STARING INDUCED BRAIN DAMAGE (MY TAKE)
VAGUE IN THE HAGUE
VAGUE IN WILLIAM HAGUE
VANILLA THUNDER AND SPLEEN BOY
VAPID VENDETTA AGAINST AN EX NAMED GRETA
vapo-rub in your margarine tub MAX
VARIABLE PITCH ROTATING SWITCH
VARNISH -- THE OTHER WHITE MEAT (V. 1.1)
VAYA CON GAME
VEJA DU
VENOMOUS VERBAL VOMIT
VENTRILOQUISM FOR DUMMIES
VENUS DE FLYTRAP
VENUS INFERS (ERMINE REMIX)
VERBAL DYSENTERY FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY
VERBAL PUNCHING BAG.
VERSION THE LAST NO REALLY
VETERINARY INCONTINENCE
VIAGRA - HERE I COME TO SAVE THE LAY
VICTOR/VICTORIA'S SECRET
vinegaroons in your ventilation MAX
VITAMEATAVEGAMINISTRY
VODKA MOCKINGBIRD
VOODOO PRACTITIONERS MAKE FOR GOOD PIN DOCTORS
VOODOO UGH
VOYAGE AU BOUT DE LA NUIT
WACKY SLUMLORD OF YOUR COMEDY GHETTO
WAGING THE WAR ON DUCKS
WAGON WHEELS WHEN WE WISH
WAITING FOR GODOT TO EXHALE
WALK THE BALK
WALKING ERECT
WALKING ON THE WINTER WUNDERKIND
WALKING ROUND IN WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR.
WANDERING THROUGH THE BLOODY BEGONIAS
WANKERS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!
WARM CREAM ON YOUR OVERCOAT
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN HUMOR-LIKE SUBSTANCE
WATCH THE ATOMIC BIRDIE
WATCHING THE WATCHMEN WATCH US WATCH THEM
WAXING NOSTALGIC IN ADVANCE
WE ALL LIVE IN A MEATBALL SUBMARINE
WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUB'S LATRINE
WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE PARASITES
WE'RE GOIN' TO THE YELLOW BRICK ROADHOUSE
weatherproof stripping on the doorjamb of mediocrity MAX
WEEKEND THROWAWAY
WEIRD SCENES INSIDE RUBE GOLDBERG
WELCOME TO THE KARAOKE MACHINE
WELCOME TO THE MATTRESS, NEO
WEREWOLVES OF HOBOKEN 2
WEST OF THE TACOS
wetness and warmth for wussies MAX
WHACHA GONNA DO WHEN THEY COME FOR JEWS?
WHAT DO YOU SAY NOW, NOSTRADUMMASS?
WHAT DREAMS MAY COME
WHAT GOES UP
WHAT HAPPENS TO SANTA IN THE NO FLY ZONE?
WHAT HUMP?
WHAT WOULD JESUS DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR?
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO CHASEY LAIN?
WHEELER DEALER COLDSORE HEALER
WHEN A BODY MEETS A BODY PASSED OUT ON RYE
WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMBAT (NOT ASLEEP)
when the residue comes due MAX
WHENEVER A SIREN SOUNDS, AN ANGEL GETS ITS WINGS RIPPED OFF. (REDEUX)
WHERE HAVE ALL YOUR BASE GONE? LONG TIME PASSING...
WHERE THE RULES ARE MADE UP AND THE ELECTORAL VOTES DON'T MATTER
whey and mange MAX
WHIPPED CREAM IN THE BLOODSTREAM
whipstitch ligament fix MAX
WHITE HOT MATTEL
WHITE MAN'S BOURBON
WHITE WINE SPRITZER FOR YOUR UNDERAGE SISTER
WHITTLER ON THE ROOF
WHO IS KAISER PERMANENTE?
WHO RUN BARTERTOWN?
who's complaining? i only paid the kid a quarter to draw this strip MAX
WHOLLY COW
WHOOOOO
WHY BOTHER WHEN THE PUB IS OPEN?
WHY BUY THE SQUIRREL WHEN THE NUTS ARE FREE?
WILD ELEPHANTITIS OF THE SERENGHETTI
WILD GOAT WEENIS
WILL I BE A ONE HIT WONDER AND THEN DISAPPEAR? RIGHT SAID FRED.
WINCHESTER CATHETERIZATION
WINKEN, BLINKEN, AND NOD: ACHETYPAL JUNKIES(OPEN 25615)
WINNIE THE PIMP
WINNING THE SMELLING BEE
WINTER HOOKERS ARE SNOW BLOWERS
WISH I'D REMEMBERED THE ORIGINAL TAG
WITH 27 PERCENT MORE URKEL
WITH A LEVER 2000 BIG ENOUGH, I COULD LATHER THE WORLD(REVIS)
WON'T STICK TO MOST DENTAL WORK
WONKA'S EVERLASTING GOB (CRISPER AND WUZLESS)
woodchucks in the wainscoting MAX
WOWOW AND FLUTER MAKE ME MUTTER
wriggling grunion in your slipstream MAX
wrinkled knee on the leotards of lethargy MAX
WRIT OF HABEUS CORPSES
WRITING A WRONG
WWW.TRAINUPACHILD.COM -- IT DIDN'T CRASH, PROVING THERE IS NO GOD
WYATT EARP'ED IN THE SADDLE AGAIN
YELLING "THEATER!" IN A CROWDED FIRE (TYPO-FREE)
yellow jacket petting zoo MAX
YELLOW SNOW BUNNIES
YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT FINGER'S BEEN
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SOYLENT.
YOU KNOW, FREDERIC FUCKING CHOPIN
YOU KNOW, ZE MONKEY SCHTUFF
YOU SAY TO NATO, I SAY TO NATO, LET'S CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF
YOU'LL LOOK SWEET UPON THE SEAT OF A BISEXUAL MADE FOR TWO
YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN. REEEALLY GOOD.
YOU'RE SO VAIN
YOU'VE GOT A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT ROCK 'N ROLL
YOUR COMEDY EPIDURAL
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF MIRTH AND FRIVOLITY
YOUR MOMMA WAS A SECOND TAKE...
your permanent seat on the shortbus MAX
YOUR REPTILIAN ANCESTOR, EDIT
your skull smells awful MAX
YULETIDE YAMS
Z SCORE HEADING SOUTH AGAIN
ZACK DIGGERHOLE LIVES
zeitgeist scheiss geyser MAX
ZIMA IN NINE NEW FLAVORS
ZOOT SUIT SCOOT BOOGIE