Respite

it has been a long summer, and many things have changed.  he doesn't even 
recognise himself, except for the pleasant mnemonic of perspective.

  these are the eyes i peer through.
  these eyes, and all that stays close by them, are me.

the heat, the change, the pain.  all so unrelenting.  he has never come 
to terms with occasional periods of simple suffering.

  i can't believe this is how it was meant to be.
  i can be so happy.  i deserve to be happy.

the most familiar element of the passage has been the nature of passage.  
he has transformed before, he knows what it is to change.  but even that 
is not enough.  even the mechanic of change becomes different.  sometimes 
he remembers who he was.  sometimes he decides to be different.  
sometimes he is pushed so hard that his self cannot but squish.  there 
have been times when it was pleasant.

  how can i find my way back?  can't i un-change?
  how did i end up here, when there was better?

now, at least, he's through the tunnel.  he can see the sun.  he can 
revel in being someone, a definite entity, not a malleable form.  he has 
sharp edges to hurt himself on.  but he is real, for a while.

it will be a long time before he can want to change himself again.  he 
hopes he won't degrade too fast.  he hopes he can stay him for a while.
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(o) =o= _A_ oI-- o-O-o O .n. P iO