From: thomasc@athena.mit.edu (Thomas Wallace Colthurst)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Thanksgiving II
Date: 29 Nov 1993 22:42:41 GMT


	"Coupons?"

	"Check."

	"Powerbook?"

	"Check."

	"Software?"

	"Check."

	"Let's go out there and get ourselves a turkey."

			* * *

	Girl at the check-out counter:  "Wow.  $25 exactly, just enough to get
	the free turkey.  I'm impressed."

	Me:  "Well, though the knapsack problem is technically NP-hard, it is
	easily tractable for amounts under 2500 with less than a hundred items
	using off-the-shelf hardware." 

	Sheung:  "Suffice it to say that we are shopping professionals."

			* * *

	"I'm going to steam the turkey."

	"You're going to WHAT?"

    	"I am going to steam the turkey."

	"Won't that hurt it?"

	"If it was still alive, yes.  If the turkey was still alive, it would
	suffer severe structural damage, undoubtably causing it to become
	quite agitated and -- dare I say it? -- downright steamed."

	Wince.  "How are you going to steam it?"

	"In the wok."
		
			* * *

	The steamed turkey turned out to be quite nice.  Side dishes included
	mashed potatoes, stuffing, cornbread, cranberry sauce, and macaroni
	and cheese.  That last item was Naomi's idea; she convinced us that
	mac & cheese for Thanksgiving was "a Southern tradition."

	We forgot to make gravy and ended up using partially gelled Lime Jello
	instead.

	"Steaming the turkey" has replaced "Freeing Willy" as the house
	euphemism for sex.

	But by far the most bizarre thing that happened this Thanksgiving was
	me saying grace.  I just sat down at the table and out it came:
	"Bless us O Lord for these thine gifts which we are about to receive
	through our bounty with Christ, our Lord."

-Thomas C
weasely atheist