Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv,alt.tv.commercials,alt.religion.kibology,alt.my.head.hurts
From: ajeanes@chat.carleton.ca (Andrew Jeanes)
Subject: Re: Mentos Testimonials

A True and Non-Ficticious* Mentos Story
(c) 1994 by Andrew Jeanes


Today I was buying textbooks at the university bookstore.  I got to
the front of the line and the cashier asked "how will you be paying
for this?"  Above her head there's a sign saying that you can pay with
cash, cheque, Visa, Amex or Interac.  Naturally, I told her that I
would be paying with the giant stone coins of the island of Yap.  

(Did you know that the Yap islanders had these *huge* circular stone
coins that were used as ceremonial currency?  They were so big and
heavy that they had holes cut in the middle so two guys could carry
them around on long sticks.  At the time that European explorers
discovered the island, they *still* hadn't come up with the idea of
the wheel. Right now every VCR on Yap is flashing 12:00 and nobody has
figured out how to work their new Durex Blenders yet.)

While the cashier was busy calling security, I had a chance to look
around at some of the fine products displayed near the cash.  My eye
was caught by a large display of those Campus Kits you see in every
major educational institution everywhere.  In addition to the usual
deodorant and hair care products, each package contained a roll of
Mentos.   Seeing a Freshness situation in the offing, I seized the
nearest kit, popped one of the Mentos, and leaped over the cash to
freedom.  I heard guns going off behind me, but fortunately the
bullets were all stopped by my new (and as yet unpaid for) copy of the
_Dictionary of Modern Critical Terms_.

It sure sounded like there were a lot of angry people running after
me--I didn't turn around to check but just threw my emergency stun
grenade and kept on running--I'm sure that deep down, however, they
were all secretly impressed by my obvious freshness.

MENTOS--Fresh and full of MSG!  

--
*Well, almost.  The store didn't really accept Visa, they just paid** me
to include that part.

**Not with the giant stone coins of the island of Yap, though.