From: bjacoby@infinet.com (Ben Jacoby) Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.tasteless Subject: Re: frozen pees like snow Date: 23 Jun 1995 04:59:56 GMT Adam J. Thornton (adam@flagstaff.princeton.edu) wrote: : In article <3s0btr$dk9@horus.infinet.com>, : Ben Jacoby wrote: : >perhaps (seing this is A.T) about granny in bed with : >a teenager while the family (and visitors!) chatted. : It's also talk.bizarre. You should check your Newsgroups: line better. : Nevertheless, this is clearly a story that needs telling. I assume you : were the teen in question. Um, I meant I was *posting* from A.T. Of course the thread (especially what I'm about to relate) is also definitely bizarre. And no, unfortunately, I was NOT the teen in question :-( Due to popular demand I will relate the promised story. It seems that one of my relatives got the idea that he wanted to get back to his "roots" and thus, planned a trip to West Virginia to make the rounds of second cousins and the like. So he takes off, and a couple of weeks later he's back telling these tales of his adventure among some of the finer examples of my kin. His first stop he found rather surpising in that this family was living in this really nice little home. It looked for all the world like any nice suburban home you'd find near any major city here in Ohio. He was also surprised since some of my relatives here who have "made it" live in places that tend toward the looks of something from the Grapes of Wrath. So he pops in and begins to chat. They are very friendly and happy to see a long lost relative and they are yaking about family matters, when out of the blue they start screaming at him. At first he can't figure out what's going on, but eventually he understands that he was about to lean back against the wall and they were screaming at him not to lean on the walls! So then they derive if for him. The house has no dry wall on the inside! instead they just stretched newspapers between the joists and then put wallpaper over that. It looked great, but was really just an illusion like a hollywood set! I guess it's better than cars on blocks. After that he traveled around some more and eventually ended up way back in "deliverance" territory. The place was a classic. It was a one room tumble down shack with the obligatory dead cars and such scattered around the outside. And once again they are happy for a visit from a long lost relative. So they all sit down in the "kitchen" corner of the shack and begin to yak about family matters. Out of the corner of his eye he beings to notice some activity in the "bedroom" corner of the shack. A closer look reveals a kid who he said couldn't have been more than 16 and a granny who looked all the world like she was 80, if she was a day, going at it hot and heavy in the bed. Interestingly enough all the people in the room were paying no attention at all as if it were little more than the dog licking himself or something. They then called in the neighbors to meet the traveler and this whole group just stood around shaking hands and talking and completely ignoring the action in the bed. Pretty soon he notices that the teen is through and proceeds to clean off his choad by wiping it on the bed clothes, puts on his overalls, and pads off like, ho hum, another day another granny. Meantime the "kitchen" crowd has totally ignored the whole scene. At this point, my relative who is far, far from a prude is TOTALLY GROSSED OUT by the whole scene. He said he hung around for a "decent interval" to be polite, then got out of there as fast as he could. I guess sometimes, it's better not to know about your "roots". -- Benjamin Jacoby | "Some rob you with a six-gun and some with bjacoby@infinet.com | a fountain pen." ..........Woodie Guthrie