From: plord@xaostools.com (a hurricane triggered by butterfly's wings)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Standard Reply
Date: 6 Apr 1995 02:00:29 -0500

"Hi, this is [mumble] from [garbled in transmission], and we're
calling all our past customers to tell them about this great new
toner cartridge for--"

"I'll just bet you are."

"Excuse me?"

"Yes!  Let us IMMEDIATELY, in fact, INITIATE a DIALOG by which
we might form a RELATIONSHIP based on your MARVELOUS TONER
CARTRIDGES!"

"Uh, yes, well, like I was saying, we'll call--"

"WRONG, Droid, downshift and dig this: if you and your miserable
company ever want to see a DIME of the funds I may or may not
have access to, you'll stop wasting my time on the phone and put
your GOD-GIVEN opposable thumbs to work stuffing an envelope
with a gaudy flyer proclaiming the various merits of your
product, which will arrive here in three to five days and then
SIT, UNOPENED, in a COMPOST PILE of MARKETING BULLSHIT until
such time as I feel a BURNING desire from the DEPTHS of my
BOWELS to seek, nay, to HUNT and DEVOUR a MOST FORMIDABLE and
WORTHY TONER CARTRIDGE.  GOT that, punk?"

[click.]

paul
-- 
West: 19  East: 1