Quoth Ken Blair:
" ------------------------------------------------------------

" -> An ALT.COFFEE guide to the proper method of brewing great
" drip coffee at home.  Revision 4.03, 12/19/94.

" -> Prepared by Ken Blair (blairiii_r@dt3.dt.uh.edu), based
" on months of ALT.COFFEE postings.

"      After reading ALT.COFFEE for many months, it is clear
" that there is proper, definite, scientific, and methodical
" procedure to make the best drip coffee.  It is also clear
" that there are numerous misconceptions about the proper way
" to go about it.  This text is a summary of the right way to
" brew drip coffee at home, according to the cyberspace coffee
" gurus on ALT.COFFEE.

"      First, start with a good quality, medium to expensive
" drip coffee maker.  A cheap, low quality, or even a cheap
" high quality unit can also be used.  Just be sure that it's
" a coffee maker.  It is important to ensure that the unit has
" been thoroughly cleaned after each use, because residue from
" previous coffee brewing could distort the rich and robust
" flavor of the coffee you are about to brew.  If you're in a
" hurry, or don't care anyhow, this step really doesn't
" matter.  Just make sure you get the old coffee grounds out
" of the coffee maker before you brew a new pot.  Poor college
" students may want to actually re-use old grounds, to avoid
" purchasing new coffee.  If should be noted, however, that
" re-using grounds more than 10 times could result in an
" overly bitter brew which might not be to your personal
" liking.

"      Second, it is essential to select the proper filter for
" your coffee maker.  It is generally acknowledged that a
" metal type filter is far superior to any other types
" available, because this type of filter will not impart any
" strange flavors into your coffee.  These metal types are
" often gold colored, but silver colored ones can be found
" too.  It is also generally acknowledged that using a paper
" filter yields a superior pot of coffee, because metal
" filters tend to let sediment pass into the coffee.  Above
" all, it is most important to remember make sure you're
" actually using a filter, or else you might end up with a mug
" full of coffee grounds and dark colored water.

"      The absolute most important aspect of brewing great
" coffee is proper coffee bean selection.  It is imperative
" that you buy only whole, un-ground beans.  Buy only enough
" beans to brew one cup at a time, otherwise you aren't using
" the freshest beans possible.  Even if this means making 6
" trips to your local roaster to buy beans to brew a 6 cup
" pot, you will be assured that you have brewed absolutely the
" best coffee possible.  For some people who don't have time
" to be buying coffee beans 6 or 12 times a day, it's also just
" as good to buy a 7 or 8 year supply ahead of time, and
" store the beans properly.  See the section on bean storage,
" below.  This brings us to the aspect of where to get your
" beans.  The only place to purchase your beans is at a local
" roaster.  By doing this, you'll be assured that the beans
" are still warm when you take them home.  When possible, buy
" beans that have just been roasted, otherwise you are wasting
" your time.  If this is not possible, just buy some Folgers
" at the nearest convienence store, and the time you have
" saved will be worth it.  If you're not able to grind your
" beans at home, then have them ground for you at the store,
" and make sure that residue from hundreds of other types of
" beans is mixed into your coffee as it goes through the
" store's grinder.  This will ensure that you get a totally
" unique blend of flavors, and your friends will be truly
" impressed with your gourmet coffee.  To brew the best
" coffee, it is imperative that you choose your coffee beans
" based on their country of origin.  You should experiment and
" try several different varietal beans until you find the ones
" you like.  To brew the best coffee, it is imperative that
" you buy flavored beans such as hazelnut-mocha-cherry-lime or
" Irish Cream-raspberry-Pop Tart-Spam flavored.  If you don't
" buy flavored beans, you're wasting your time, and you're not
" a true coffee pro.  Once again, if you don't have time to
" select good quality, fresh flavored coffee, you must select
" a good canned, mass produced coffee from the local grocery
" store.  Doing this is the only way to make the best coffee.
" In summary, it is important to remember that you're using
" coffee beans, and not pinto beans.  Use of pinto beans could
" result in an overly bitter brew, that might not be suitable
" to your personal taste.

"      For those of you who are interested in grinding your
" beans at home, there are generally two different types of
" grinders: burr and blade.  Generally, it is accepted that
" the both of these grinders begin with "b", and both grind
" coffee.  If is entirely a matter of personal taste as to
" which one to use, because both types are so much alike.

"      The topic of coffee bean storage is another highly
" debated topic, but if you look at the hard, factual
" evidence, the answer is clear.  Many people claim that
" freezing your coffee is the best solution to storage.  Many
" people claim that coffee should not be frozen.  Other people
" claim that air-tight containers are the way to go.  Well,
" after extensive scientific-research-studies-experiments, it
" has been determined that freezing, refrigerating, room
" temperature, and air-tight container are all ways to store
" coffee.  Above all, it is essential to make sure that you
" are storing your coffee beans.

"      Finally, you must make sure that you are using proper a
" proper amount of water and coffee when brewing.  While it is
" generally accepted that one must use water when brewing
" coffee, many people don't use the exact amount.  To make
" drip coffee, the proper method is to use exactly one
" standard coffee scoop measure (between 1/2 tablespoon to 4
" tablespoons) to each one exact standard coffee maker cup of
" water (3 ounces to 8 ounces).  This is the only exact,
" correct, and proper method, and may of course be adjusted to
" your personal liking.

"      After your drip coffee has brewed, you might want to
" add milk or sugar.  Just as with coffee bean storage, this
" is a highly debated topic.  Some people insist that adding
" milk or sugar covers up the robust aroma of the coffee,
" while others insist that it is necessary to cover up the
" robust aroma of the coffee because it is undesirable.  If
" you do choose to add milk, remember that there are several
" options such as skim, 1/2 percent, 2 percent, 4 percent,
" half and half, and cream.  Be sure to make the proper
" choice.  Above all, when determining to add milk or sugar to
" your cup, remember that you could be adding milk or sugar.

"      If you plan not to serve the entire pot of coffee right
" after it has brewed, you must consider the options of
" storage of the brewed coffee and how to keep it hot.  While
" it is generally accepted that storage in a vacuum type
" thermos or carafe is acceptable, it is also generally
" accepted that microwave ovens are capable of heating up cold
" coffee.  Environmentalists will want to use a solar heating
" method by placing the pot of coffee in the sun.

" [end of text]
" -------------------------------------------------------------

" ---(> Ken Blair - blairiii_r@dt3.dt.uh.edu