Dallas - We Know What to Do With Presidents Here

This is a wholly unofficial dallas home page. No one in Dallas but Chris Koeberle (its creator) has yet endorsed this home page. You have been warned. (A less whimsical view of Dallas is also available.)

Weather?

Yes. We have weather in Dallas. It snows between 0 and 3 times every year, but you probably wouldn't recognise it as snow. Some weeks, it likes to rain, and will do so endlessly, like a child screaming to hear its own voice. Other weeks, it decides not to rain at all. Mostly, the weather in Dallas likes to mess with my schedule, producing evil weather to match anything i do outdoors in the Dallas area.

Addendum

The weather in Dallas, frightened by my startling indictment, has shaped up remarkably. i've actually decided to do something outside, and received warm weather for it. i retract my complaint.

J.R.?

No. Not everyone in Dallas is a rich oil baron. (Everyone in France, however, does like Jerry Lewis.)

Night Life?

We used to have a very cool club named Slipped Disk Studios (or Records. Something.) It was run by Greg. Then it became Common Ground, which is when Chris discovered it. Then it moved. Then it became the Easy Street Theatre, because that's where it had moved to, and they decided to randomly change to a sucky name. Now it's gone. Which leaves us with Arcadia (bad techno), Borrowed Money (country and gone), the Tijuana Yacht Club (people are there to get laid, not to listen to music), and a lot of tattoo parlours with names like "Tiggers", "Tattoo You", and "Tattoo". There's probably some others, but they're even less cool.

Food?

According to some statistics, Dallas has the most restaurants and bars per capita in the nation. Chris believes it - he was once able to get to any of 20 restaurants on foot in under 20 minutes. We also have a lot of Denny's - if you're ever in Dallas and you need a Denny's, get on a large street (preferably Central Expressway) and drive - you'll almost certainly see one within 20 minutes. Unless you start in the wrong place, which case you might just see the place where a Denny's once was. But you can go to Micro Center, instead.

Purplesaurus Rex?

No. The discontinued flavour of kool-aid is almost impossible to find in Dallas. Even Chris doesn't have a stash of it, yet. Sorry.

People Who Are Not From Dallas?

There is no Kuwamoto

Like Sho Kuwamoto

Like no Kuwamoto

I know!

Song to the Tune of Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes?

Paul,
Ringo,
George and John,
George and John...

Poetry?

Try the Nagasaki Memorial Haiku

Will this ever end?

It just did. Hope you've enjoyed the tour of Dallas.

(Feb 11 1995 Chris Koeberle)

Let's see that Chris fella' again.

But what about the Juggling Information Service?